23 Weeks...and flaunting the preggo bikini?!?! (pics)

Oh yes- we've made it to 23 weeks and I've decided that it's my blog so if you don't want to see the preggo bikini- it's about time you get up and go.  Cuz this belly is out in full force!

B and I have implemented a new ritual of "pool time" almost every evening after he gets done working out.  Did I mention that along with his new found need to do all of our home improvement projects inside, he also built a gym in our garage that's pretty awesome! But, of course, it's billions of degrees here and the garage is no exception (and honestly a little hotter cuz it just steams in there). So after work he gets home and then musters up the energy and courage to go attempt a workout in the sauna that is his new gym (he didn't want to keep our gym membership because 1. it was way, way too expensive even though I loved it 2. I wasn't using it at.all. and 3. he wanted to be home more when the babies come and not trying to trek out to the gym and leaving the family for long periods of time to get a workout- he's so thoughtful!!!)  After about 45 minutes, he'll blow back through the door into our house looking like he's literally 5 minutes away from heat stroke and heads straight for the back door.  At which point, I put on my BIKINI!!!  Yeah- the one I bought at the regular non-maternity store that really shouldn't be worn by anyone even considering being pregnant let alone a twin preggo lady. Love it!  I got it a size too big so the ladies fit...but it's not pretty by any means.  Eh, it gets the job done. And I LOVE being the in pool.  I was super paranoid at first cuz, ya know,  you're not allowed to submerge yourself in any water for a little while after IVF so I figured that means bad things could happen at any point- it took me a little while to get over that.  I think I was 20 weeks before I would "submerge"- it's been only showers for me.  But now I'm seriously angry for not taking advantage sooner. It feels so good on my back to have the pressure off for a bit- and when I'm getting that "baby kicking you in the cervix" pain, it really helps.

Um...pretty?  23weeks! 

Hey there Luckies!

So what else is going on with us? Well, VERY exciting news! We got some hand-me-downs that are fabulous! My favoritein this moment? This beautiful single stroller.



Awwww! B's so cute with the stroller!!!



A single stroller? Yes, I know- we're having two babies. B and I debated back and forth about whether we would need a single stroller and whether it'd be worth the money and yada yada. Well, we sort of decided no, probably not worth the money. But then, a friend of ours who has twins (we don't know too many people IRL who have twins) said they got a single stroller, used it a few times but rarely, and would totally give it to us. SUHWEET!

Um- what else? Babies are the size of (very) large papayas! And we're less than a week away from the VIABILITY milestone! This is a big one people. I mean, just to think- that at that point, we could have something not so good happen and still have the hopes of taking home our babies! Oh my goodness- it's all just so surreal. Don't worry, I'm working on cooking these little ones for at least another few months if there's anything I can possibly do about it!

Our birthing and breathing class is going well. Two sessions down, one more to go. We talked about C-sections and what to expect with the actual hospital stay. So that was good to see. Two more gnarly videos thankyouverymuch, but it is what it is.

Oh- and I'm still obsessed with strawberry shortcakes.  This is a GIGANTIC bowl with two shortcakes and an entire packet of strawberries...and just a lot of whipped cream. A. lot.

Bless.

Babiesmoooooooooooooooon and Nesting?

I am so so so excited that B and I just booked reservations for our little babymoon (babiesmoon for us)! :) We decided we will be staying very close to home- no traveling out of state...or out of city for that matter.  But I found an "all inclusive" package at a local 5-star that we've never stayed at and in our city, the summer time deals are wicked awesome.  So we booked it up!  PLUS- B got me a gift certificate to this resort for a spa treatment a while ago and I haven't used it yet- so we'll put that toward the cost (I'd rather hang with him than get a massage anyday...ok, maybe hang with him WHILE getting a massage would win out).  So the price included breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for our two night stay- which is good for a preggo lady like me since I eat like a champ right now! We're going the third weekend in August which is just lovely cuz I won't be too ginormous by then hopefully, although the rapid growth has picked up this last week.

I found myself in a bit of a new place for this pregnancy yesterday.  I've explained to y'all that I'm not the organized one in my marriage.  B takes that role, and he does splendid at it.  And I'm pretty damn good at being messy- all is right with the world (not if you ask B...but...).  I've also explained to y'all that I've been pretty sick for this pregnancy, right? Did you know that? Lots of puking, lots of IV fluids, ringing any bells?  Well- I didn't do ANYTHING around the house during that horrible time and I haven't really done much of anything since cuz I started back at work and then I'm just so tired and worn  out...well, anyway- something snapped yesterday.  I knew I needed to do laundry- it had been like 5 months (I've done a teensy bit here and there for the things I needed but I've had piles of laundry in my closet for literally 5 months...I kept it out of the way so no one would notice...).  So I started sorting laundry.  Then I realized that my closet shelves were very disorganized, so I started organizing those.  Then I realized that my clothes weren't organized in a condusive way to me finding my preggo friendly ensembles, so I started organizing all my clothes...well, I ended up totally reorganizing my entire closet, including 6 loads of laundry, and now it ALMOST looks as organized as B's side!!  Is this nesting?  I had to stop every 30 minutes or so to rest and put my feet up cuz I'd start to get cramps or whatever- I was going at it for real- but I couldn't stop until the job was done.  B helped me with my laundry, too, cuz he loves me that much.  And I'm cute and he can't resist my pleas.

I've also found two or three more little projects that I want to get organized as well.  Here's B's favorite:  We have a stash of VHS tapes.  Does anyone else have a stash of VHS tapes remaining from the "good ol' days" or is that just me?  B hates it. I can't give it up.  First, there may be a tiny bit of sentimental attachment there...but mostly I'm just afraid that if I give up my one and only copy of "Free Willy" I'll never get the DVD or Blu Ray and then what if I absolutely NEED to watch that beautiful whale soar?  What will I do?  B enters his quick witted responses here regularly- Netflix, buy the dvd for like $2 cuz it's Free Willy for god's sake....whatevs.  His final response is that we actually no longer have a functioning VHS player anywhere in the house.  I've been hoarding my old VHS/DVD combo player for (insert ridiculous number of years here) and now he claims that all of our fancy shmancy tvs aren't compatible.  Hmph.  So, my new project is to go through my blessed stash and find all of the tapes that I absolutely MUST have and then challenge B to find them for super cheap.  I personally think that it's going to be a bit of an expensive endeavor- he thinks we'll find all of these DVDs for dirt cheap.  Um...some are Disney classics mister- there's this vault, I don't know if you've heard of it... 

Let the best man win (or the preggo lady, cuz I deserve it).

22 Weeks

1.  Visiting daycares is going well.  We didn't have a wonderful experience with the Kin.dercare that's closest to us.  I know all of the Kin.dercares are different- I grew up going to church inside of one that seemed much more open and playful- this one felt really dungeon-like and we didn't love the staff as much as I'd hoped we would.  We still kept it on the list because it was the first daycare we had been to and I've heard plenty of good things about Kin.dercare, but didn't really have great feelings about it.  Then yesterday we went to Tu.tor Ti.me and it felt a lot better!  The staff was my favorite part there, which I think is a really good thing.  Both of these are almost identical in cost, but Tu.tor Ti.me seemed a little more flexible on schedules thus allowing for a bit of a lower price for us.  The only downfall I saw compared to Kin.dercare was that they didn't have two separate infant rooms- one for non-mobile babies and one for mobile babies.  I thought that was a great idea.  But it seemed to be working well without it.  We stayed for a while and just talked to the two ladies who work in the infant room and watched the babies to see what would happen.  Everyone was really happy and playful and organized- crucial in my book.  However, with the costs being pretty high, we decided to do a little research into the daycare right across from B and my office- La P.etite A.cademy. (I had heard it was wicked expensive so I hadn't even checked into it).  Turns out, it's a teensy bit cheaper than the others and I love,love,love that it's right next to the office.  We're going today to check it out.  Oh- and with both Tu.tor Ti.me and La Pet.ite they have a 10% off for the second baby deal.  Haha- a BOGO for babies!

2. We went to our first prenatal class yesterday!!! It was supposed to be from 6:30pm-9:30pm, yikes...but only lasted until 8:30.  And, true to classic form, we watched a video of a live birth.  The birth video wasn't anything that B and I hadn't seen via high school health class or, honestly, on tv.  BUT- they showed the placenta delivery! I'd never seen that and WHOA.  Not pretty, people.  Not pretty.  The best part about the video was that the doctor then took the placenta in a bucket up to the head of the bed and proceeded to "check it out" (which honestly just looked like playing with it) right next to mom's head as she was sort of looking on in disgust and sort of trying to get her newborn to latch...it was hysterical.  Right after the video, our nurse teacher asked if there were any questions and a guy in the front raised his hand immediately and asked if the doctors seriously take the placenta in a bucket up to show mom and dad at the head of the bed.  Ha. Good question, bro.  And I was pleased to find that no, that's not standard practice (except the bucket part sorta is).  Even though I'm sure my science teacher mom would love to have a glimpse.  Sorry mom, not gonna happen. Gnarly.  The rest of the class we talked about pre-term labor, the stages of labor, contractions, etc.  It's called "Birth Basics and Breathing" and we'll go two more times (Wednesdays) for three hours each.  B thinks its a little silly since there's a really good chance we're doing a c-section but he's also down with my need to be prepared just in case (and a girl can hope, can't she?).  Next week we'll talk about pain management (the drugs!), the details about what to expect before and after in the hospital, and C-sections! So there, I'm doing my due diligence on all fronts.  The last class is when we'll talk about breathing and comfort techniques.  That's when we bring the pillow and get on the floor and all that I guess (yes, I'm the only one who brought a pillow last night because I wasn't sure when we were supposed to and I felt like an idiot).  Oh- and I love that B and I are sorta "special" with the whole twin thing.  They went around and everyone had to say their name, due date, and whether it was a boy or girl so they could tally up the team representation.  After we walked in 5 minutes late (no parking and I'm just late everywhere) and had to sit in the front, it was immediately our turn so I said we're technically due Thanksgiving day and it's twins- a boy and a girl! Everyone sort of gasped a bit and I said "we're on both teams" and got lots of laughs.  If you know me, you know I kind of loved that.

3. Still haven't scheduled the next pediatrician appointment.  Meim left me a really great comment on my last post about her pediatrician and how they're not so good with parents but really, really good with kids/diagnostics (I guess the most important things...I guess) ;)  It was a great point and I wasn't really thinking about that too much...but I've had so many awesome surgeons and diagnosticians in my life who just suck at that bedside manner thing- I should have known better.  But I'm such a rookie at all this... I'm gonna have to get over my fears and pick the best doctor rather than the one I want to hug more.  Oh- and I LOVE reading what amanda claire writes in my comments about the crazy differences between the US and the UK.  Sometimes I forget that I'm not the center of the universe...I can admit that.  (And if you know me, you're chuckling right now at the truth in that statement) But it's crazy to think of the vast differences in this same life experience based on geography...but then the similarities as well. 

4. I'm swelling. It's not horrific or anything, yet.  I'm a little worried though- because I wasn't taking my baby aspirin like I was supposed to (bad One Day) and now I'm wondering if I can save myself from the pre-eclampsia monster that attacks so many twin mamas.  I'm sure it's nothing- I'm just gonna mention it at my ultrasound appointment today and see what she says.  It's just my feet and hands right now so really nothing to worry about, plus it's like 400 degrees outside so B's swelling too, I'm sure.  Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate- I know.

5. I'm gaining rapidly! And growing rapidly!  I'm officially up 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight! That's a 25 pound weight gain if you look at my lowest during the pregnancy (only about 9 weeks ago- wow).  I'll be doing the gestational diabetes test in a couple weeks- I'm slightly scared.  I eat EVERYTHING now.  I'm craving Icee's all the time (it's 400 degrees, shut up) but I haven't gotten one yet.  My lowest point was that Ar.by's situation from about a week ago...I still never got my damn cherry turnover.  But I do crave salads from time to time so that's good, right?  I eat a ton of starchy and sugary foods though. But technically, I've still got some gaining to go, even if you're looking at my weight gain on an overall number.  I'm supposed to get to 40-50lbs of weight gain from my pre-pregnancy weight before little ones arrive.  I just need to do it a little smarter, I think.  But I want an ICEE!

6. My lactose intolerance came back.  I hadn't really noticed too much, but it was sort of hiding there for a while. I had tried a couple ice creams or a milkshake here and there and wasn't super sick afterward.  Then, all of a sudden- any bit of milk or ice cream is sending me into a horrible tail spin of cramps and not so fun times in the bathroom.  Now, this means that things are moving a little better than they were before which I guess is good...but probably not really.  This is a gross bullet, sorry.

7. BABY SHOWER!  Have I mentioned my excitement?  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

8. B bought a book about baby brain development and read half of it in like 5 minutes...and loves it.  I love him.  He was reading it last night during So You Think You Can Dance (which, if you haven't watched needs to become a regular part of your entire family's routine...immediately) and telling me the "crucial" parts cuz I don't read anymore- ha.  But of course it went deep into the devastating effects having a child will have on marriage.  Let alone two.  We talked a bit about our "plan" and how we are committed to supporting one another in front of our kids and talking it out behind closed doors if there's a disagreement.  I know that'll get hard sometimes and I'm sure there will be some "rule breaking" that will come- we're only human.  But my parents did such a great job with that- the united front.  I could never go from one to the other looking for a different (or better) answer.  Period.  And they never put one another down in front of us.  Ever.  B and I talked about remembering "us" when we get wrapped up in "them" and how hard that's gonna be (they're gonna be sooooo cute and sooo much work).  I get scared about that part sometimes, but I'm never scared about losing him or about us in the bigger sense.  That's such an amazing feeling- to really know that, truly, deep down.  I'm such a lucky woman to have found B and to have him in my life.  I want us to be the same, but I know that's not possible.  We'll go through seasons of change- and this is a big one coming.  But we'll always have that core understanding of who we are together and why we wouldn't be anywhere else.  Honestly, I'm so excited to see how amazing he's gonna be with our kids.  Seriously- he's that kind of guy who's a little bit shy, an introvert, on the outside- but I know the other sides to him that not too many other people get to see.  And all of it makes this incredible man who is just dying to be a father.  It's those other sides that are gonna shine through with his babies.  I can't wait!  Love.

All kinds of uncertainty

In an effort to attempt to check off a few to-do list items, I'd set up a couple appointments this week- both with daycares near our house and with a pediatrician for a "meet and greet". Today is our first daycare tour at a very well known daycare- Kin.dercare.  I don't know how I feel about it yet.  We also have an appointment tomorrow at Tu.tor Ti.me- also don't know how I feel about it yet.  I need to set up an appointment with another one that I've read about near me that's not as Nationally known, is quite a bit cheaper, but has several locations in our state and seems pretty good.  Uncertainty is the name of the game for me with daycare and I cry sometimes when I think about it.  There's a big part of me that wishes I could stay home with them.  That wishes I could be the one they spend their days with.  When you think about it, when they get a bit older and are sleeping through the night, the majority of their waking time will be spent with "somebody else"... tears.

But I know that 1) financially that wouldn't be the best option for us.  Although those Nationally known daycares are gonna cost us about $2000 per month (*gulp), I make more than that.  2) B makes the same as I do- we don't have a "primary earner" if you will- we're both pretty equal so taking one of our salaries away is cutting out half of our income which would be a big pill to swallow, especially with two more mouths to feed. And finally, 3)- there's a part of me that wants to work.  I don't know how big of a part of me.  It changes all the time.  Some days I think that I'd give anything to just stay home (and I could if I really wanted to- we could swallow that big pill if we decided it was best, at least for a while).  But then some days- I know that my personality needs work.  I need to have those feelings of "success" if you will.  It's hard to explain, and I know that I could still feel success at home- but recognition is a weird innate need for me.  When I work really hard at a project and then get to feel the reward of success or recognition...it's important to me.  Could I live without it? I'm sure I could.  Would I be better off? I'm not sure.  Could all of this change as soon as I see their little faces? Absolutely.  Who knows how I'm going to feel.  But the financial aspect remains.  It isn't the "smartest" idea for me to stay home.  Sigh.

So at this point I'm hoping we go to a daycare and fall in love with it.  We meet the teachers, meet the staff, and just know that "this is the place".  That I'll feel as close to "comfortable" with the idea of "somebody else" taking care of my kids.  I hear that you get used to it, that you get very comfortable with your daycare if they're good and then they become like family.  I hope.

So- the other appointment was with a pediatrician nearby.  We went yesterday- they were on a list of peds that my OB gave us who work with the hospital I'll be delivering at.  I called and asked sort of rookie-like how this all works with meeting the doctor and the receptionist was very nice and gave me the low down.  They have 5 doctors in the practice- a lot of people come and meet each of them individually and then sort of pick their favorite to be their primary pediatrician.  But if push comes to shove, and babies need a doctor when "ours" isn't available- we've got four others to see.  A lot more availability for appointments.  Ok- so we booked our meet and greet with one of them for last night right before office close.  I came home from work early and B and I drove together.  I jotted down a few questions on the way- what is their philosophy on immunization schedules, talk to me about circumcision, what would be your involvement if babies are in the NICU, do you have any recommendations for local daycares... :)  We got there and they have a sick child entrance and a well child entrance- check.  That's crucial.  The staff seemed nice- a receptionist came out into the waiting room to drop off a brochure for us to look at while we waited. They had a TV playing a Disney movie and the walls were covered in murals- very cute, although not really on the list of must-haves, ha.  They took us back and as we waited in this little room it was so surreal to me.  We could be in that room with our twins getting a Well Baby checkup in just a few months.  Crazy.

We waited for a while and got a little stir crazy.  I have no idea now what we were laughing at, but B had me in full on tears before the doctor came in.  I was actually wheezing- which had me in even more tears as B told me I sounded like an old man.  I do remember the little bed in the exam room looked like a train and B noted "Why do little kids like trains so much? It's such an outdated technology..."  He's gonna be an amazing Dad- I was dying laughing as he pondered the origins of childrens' obsessions with trains. "Why not Thomas the Fighter Jet?"

The doctor came in and sort of sat there staring at us for a bit.  She was nice and all.  Very polite.  I told her this was our first "Meet and Greet" and we didn't really know how it all goes.  She said it's mostly for people to see where the office is and put a face to a name.  Great- so we are supposed to just leave now? "Hi- nice to meet you Dr.X. Ok, bye now." It was awkward.  I decided to say I had some questions and proceeded with my drilling.  I think she thought I was neurotic (which I may have been- I just didn't really know what I was doing and c'mon, help a sister out).  She answered politely enough, but every response came across a little "trivial", ya know?  Like- of course we use a local anesthetic for the circumcision.  That's "standard practice" nowadays.  I don't know lady- I've never had one! And the immunization schedule- she said "we promote immunizations".  Um, I know.  I figured you weren't the one pediatrician out there touting "no shots!".  But when I asked about the schedule- when do they actually do them? Are many done in the hospital right away? What about immunizations for parents? She sort of seemed to chuckle and tell me that only one is done in the hospital- they get most around 2 months.  And "they" don't do immunizations for parents. The hospital would offer that.

I don't blame her for coming off like that- she sees this stuff everyday all day.  I'm just a rookie.  I honestly don't know which side is up when it comes to a lot of this baby stuff (yes- even infertile women who do all kinds of research on GETTING pregnant often times don't know too much about actually BEING pregnant- or the madness/gloriousness thereafter with an actual real live baby or two...).  Anyway- I'm glad I didn't just go to put a face to the name- I'm glad I asked the questions because it gave me an opportunity to see a little bit more about this doctor's personality.  I'm not gonna know what the hell I'm doing once the babies get here either, so I want a doctor who gets that and who wants to make me feel awesome about my lack of knowledge.  "Oh yeah- the babies shouldn't eat cheerios at a month old. Great question One Day! I get that all the time and you know, that whole newborn equals no solid food thing- that's a tricky one...you're doing a fantastic job!"  THAT'S what I'm looking for.

21 Weeks

How Far Along: 21w2d





Size of Baby: Currently they are the size of bananas according to the books...but we know that baby B, our Big Bubba, isn't holding to any "normals"... :)






Picture of Baby: We've got another ultrasound on Wednesday so I'll see about posting another pic then. I'll post my favorite u/s pics so far- these are from about 19 weeks (again, I HATE trying to take a picture of an u/s pic so I'm sorry so blurry):

Little Lady sittin' pretty

Big Bubba kinda stretching out his legs upwards

And then here are a couple pics of my belly from MY perspective this morning (I tend to stay in my PJs as long as possible...).  21w1d:

The beast...she's got a long way to go though

I'm actually bending over to see my swollen sausage toes (un-pedicured unfortunately)

Maternity Clothes: Ok, I bought a bunch of maternity shirts at Ko.hls and they totally shrunk the first time I washed them (in cold water and low heat in the dryer) and now you can see the belly band when I wear them. I'm a little bummed.  Plus, I'm growing quite a bit more rapidly now so any shrinking of shirts means bad news.  I'm loving dresses right now- but they're all starting to get a little short for work because the bump is pulling them up!





Weight Gain: I feel SOOOO much better!  I'm still taking 2 Pro.tonix everyday, and doc wants me to stay on that until I deliver.  But yesterday I only took 1 Zof.ran for the first time and it went well.  So I'm weaning myself off slowly but surely.  It's amazing how different this is now.  I was in a bad, bad place there for a while with the IVs and the constant vomiting or dry heaving. UUUUGH **shutter.  But, everyone was right- it's so worth it now that I'm feeling better.  I am truly enjoying this...and eating like a champion.  I'm up about 5-6 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (which is about a 20lb weight gain because of how much I lost) but gaining pretty quickly. 





Belly: I still hear that I'm carrying "small" for twins and that's good because I can sure start to see this belly taking over soon!  It's growing pretty fast.









Stretch Marks: Nope.  I'm putting all kinds of stuff all over my belly, the ladies, my thighs...anything I can possibly reach at this point...to try and avoid them but I think I'll probably just need to accept it at some point.  I've never had stretch marks before but I know it's genetic.  I'm doomed. ;)









Sleep: I get SO tired after work (and during, let's be honest here).  But I'm always waking up early now.  I woke up at 5am yesterday and again this morning...on a Saturday.  Boo.  I want to get some sleeping in before the babies get here because it's all over after that.  I have been going to bed much earlier though- I just can't keep my eyes open past 10pm (if I make it to that point- I've fallen asleep at 9pm the last couple of nights).  I'm waking up twice a night for a trip to the (gorgeously remodeled and lovely) bathroom. (Thanks B!!!!)






Best Moment of the Week: We had a pretty fun little kicking show last night that I loved.  I seriously can't get enough of their movement- they're so active! Last night they were going like crazy when we were watching "Groundhog Day" on tv...but they'd get even more active whenever any music would come on! Oh- I also found out yesterday that my boss is giving B and I a bunch of her baby stuff!  So on Monday we'll be getting a swing, a bouncy, a bumbo chair, and some more stuff!  PLUS- we sold the guest bedroom furniture that was in the nursery so I love seeing that empty and ready for cribs!







Movement: See above- but this is the best part of the pregnancy absolutely!






Symptoms: I'm starting to get a little bit of swelling.  Yikes!  When I wake up in the morning it seems to either be the worst or I'm just paying attention to it the most.  I've taken off my wedding ring and engagement ring- I have the wedding band hanging on my necklace.  I've replaced it with my college letterman's ring cuz I hate not wearing a ring on that finger now... I still get a bit nauseous from time to time but NOTHING like before. I mean, seriously- this is cake now in the nausea department.  The belly hurts some from time to time- I get cramps every other day or so that are uncomfortable.  My low back is starting to hurt a little sometimes too- but not all the time.  B will give me a little back rub when I need it- thanks again B!!  And I'm starting to see a little bit of improvement with the slow digestive issues now that I'm weaning even more off the Zo.fran.  We'll see how that goes (cuz I suck at taking Mira.lax and I hate it).











Food Cravings: Ok, guilty confession #1- the last two nights in a row I've gone to Arby's to get a cherry turnover cuz I wanted one OH so badly (I hadn't had one in probably a year before I got pregnant but they're so delish)...but both times I came up short! How awful! Each time, they told me when I got there that they had "just" run out of cherry.  :(  So B told the guy at the window last night that I'm pregnant and psychotic and REALLY needed that cherry turnover- so the guy said he was closing tonight and that if I came back he'd have one saved for me.  I'll be there.  No question. (Oh- and of course I didn't leave empty handed.  On Thursday I got a chocolate turnover, which wasn't as good, but last night I had an apple turnover that was completely satisfactory...and I also got an oreo shake...and two roast beef sandwiches...um...)




Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba!








What I Miss: I still miss walking at any sort of respectable pace.  I have to tell B to slow down- I can't keep up.  And the getting out of chairs is getting worse- I have to heave myself out of them,  it's like my legs don't work anymore.












What I'm Looking Forward to: Baby Shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly didn't know if this would ever happen for us- I can't say that enough.  I can't believe it's real.








Weekly Wisdom: To-Do lists are so, so important.  1) I can't remember anything anymore so having it all written on the list is crucial or I'd forget everything I needed to do and 2) there's a TON to do before the babies get here... I have to stay organized. Oh, also- B and I had a really important discussion last night that I think is crucial for any soon-to-be working parents.  I came home a bit late from work last night and B started projecting his worries into the future about how he comes home on time and I tend to stay late far more often...so he's worried that he'll be waiting at home for me with both babies while I'm working away.  We talked about supporting eachother through the ebbs and flows of each of our careers.  We talked about sacrifices and how I've sacrificed a lot because of the pregnancy, but he has as well and we want to maintain equality with our careers- we both have a lot of potential but we both also know what our number one priority is: this family.  There will be times when his career will take him away from the family more and I'll need to step up and make more sacrifices as far as work goes and vice versa. Neither one of us will WANT to be away, but it's going to have to happen from time to time- be it travelling for a week at a time or working on big projects that require more hours in certain months, etc.  That support of one another and open communication are going to be cornerstone for us.  It won't be an easy balance to strike- but we'll find it with a little practice.  It just takes time. I trust in us, 100%. Love that man.








Milestones: Hmmm...I don't think I've reached anymore big milestones since the 20 week mark.  Next up is viability at 24 weeks.  I had a horrible dream last night that the babies had to be born at 23 weeks...it was so vivid and so real- I hate those pregnancy paranoia dreams. 








Emotions: I'm in a really wonderful place right now. I look back at the first half of this pregnancy and I can say that it was friggin awful.  It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do physically- but these two amazing lives inside of me are so worth it.  I survived- they thrived.  That's what matters.  (Not that I want to do that again...) But right now I'm doing really well.  I'm slow, I'm sluggish, I'm already feeling like a whale even though I'm nowhere NEAR where I will be...but I'm loving knowing that I'm growing our offspring right now.  I love feeling them move.  I get so much joy out of talking about them and planning for them.  Albeit a little scared for the massive changes about to come and the ridiculously difficult times we  have ahead with two newborns/infants/toddlers/teenagers...all of it.  But I'm feeling less and less paranoid about whether this pregnancy will actually make it and I'm feeling like I can actually just enjoy it.  How amazingly lucky and blessed are we? I mean, honestly.  We are so truly blessed.  I couldn't be more grateful.

20 weeks, 1 day! Growing, growing, growing... (pics)

Expansion is the name of the game right now.  I've hit some sort of turning point and babies are making themselves far more known nowadays (with lots of movement- yay!- and by increasing this belly size!).  Went to the doctor for our 20 week anatomy scan on Wednesday and I had gained 6 pounds from our last appointment about 2.5 weeks prior!  So I'm now OVER my pre-pregnancy weight by a good few pounds :) She brought up the fact that, honestly, they'd like to see twin mamas be up 20lbs by 20 weeks...and I had that whole deficit thing, so keep eating!

 I asked about my "nutritional intake" and my worries that continuing to eat what sounds good all the time might not be healthiest for the offspring.  She disagreed for right now.  She told me to keep eating whatever, just get some good nutrition in, too.  I am doing that- I'll eat some fruit, veggies, and protein everyday (on top of lots and lots of carbs, junk food, and anything that sounds remotely good in the moment like french fries...).  We've held off on the gestational diabetes test because my nausea was so bad that she felt like I'd puke up that orange drink anyway so there'd be no point.  Now that I'm 20 weeks, we're just going to do it at the normal time of 24 weeks (even though I've had some tests before this pregnancy come back with hypoglycemic numbers and sky rocketed blood sugar numbers...not good).

The anatomy scan went FABULOUSLY!  I can't tell you how nervous I've been that we'd get news of scary things or that their growth would be delayed or...well the list honestly goes on far longer than I want to admit to.  But we got in there and they were kicking away, looking beautiful as always, and measuring amazingly. It was quite the experience- an hour of looking at our children...these tiny little lives who will take over every piece of our lives in just a few months...these little babies who will become kids, running and screaming and driving us crazy...these tiny things that will be our teenagers, our growing family- we'll watch them learn, succeed, make mistakes...change the world (at least to me).  They're just little luckies now, tiny little versions of humans...but - they're going to be us.

I love looking at them.  And ours are pretty fun to look at.  During the hour long anatomy scan, each baby flipped over TWICE making it pretty difficult for the tech to figure out what the heck was going on from time to time (and she's a good tech).  They're wicked active- she, of course, had to note that they're going to keep us on our toes as they start moving (in opposite directions I'm sure).

They measured their heads, abdomens, and legs.  They checked for all of the important 20 week scan pieces- cerebellum, heart ventricles, kidneys, stomachs...everything was present and accounted for, and looking healthy (times two)!

And then, my favorite part- they did the calculation for our little luckies' sizes.  I've been worried that with the hyperemesis and my lack of any nutrition in the first 15 weeks of their lives was going to come into play here.  Well, I should have known better. These are my children- they can gain weight with the best of them ;)  Little Lady is measuring right on track, maybe a couple days ahead (around 20w1d when we were 19w6d).  She weighs about 12 ounces!!  Big Bubba on the other hand felt it necessary to live up to his deemed nickname (do we know our fetuses or what?).  He is already measuring almost two weeks ahead and weighs just under 1lb!!!!  15 and a half ounces!  Go Big Bubba! I smell college scholarships...basketball? hmm (Not that I'm not already thinking of Little Lady and her future mad skills- B is 6'5", I'm 6'1"- I doubt she's gonna be "petite" per say.  We'll see what she does with those long legs!!)  :) I promise I won't be a scary team mom who pushes her kids too hard so that they hate the sport (or stage or whatever it is that they want to do).  My parents were awesome about that- pushing me just hard enough so that I knew I had their support and I knew I couldn't just quit because I felt like it one day, but they never pushed me to the point that I felt overwhelmed or tapped out. They're the reason I did what I did with swimming. Hands down. Love them.

Alright- now for some (disappointingly blurry and frustrating) photos!



Here's what's going on on the outside. This was 19w3d, so almost a week ago. (Sorry about the messy bathroom- B actually did a bit of a remodel on it this last weekend!!! Yay for new sink faucets!)



Little Lady (Twin A) 19w6d Can you see her little lips? So cute!

Little Lady's hand!



Little Lady's foot :)  She's gonna have long monkey toes like her mama (I wear a size 12 in women's, yikes. Sorry little lady)

 Unfortunately they only got two photos of Big Bubba, he was moving around so much it was hard to get anything.  We got a very blurry picture of sort of his profile and then a money shot of his bubba bits- but I figured one of those on the interwebs was good enough.  You're welcome Bubba- but you still will always be known as the boy with the hot dog!

I started getting quite a bit more "uncomfortable" in my own skin this past week.  More stretching, more back aches, and my tail bone feels like it's broken if I sit down for too long.  I have to sort of ease myself out of chairs...which is awesome after a meeting at work.  I try to kind of hang back so most people have left the room before they see me grunt my way out of a chair- and I'm only 20 weeks!!! I was telling B a couple days ago that I'm actually sort of afraid of what this is gonna feel like in 16 weeks (cuz we're making it to 36 weeks damnit).  I don't want to think too much about the BOAT I'm gonna look/feel like.  But every day I keep them in there is 3 days less in the NICU.  If we make it past 35 weeks, there's a good chance they will come home with us!  We're likely going to schedule a c-section for 37 weeks which will be right around 11/3/11.  We'll actually have to pick the exact date soon- any suggestions?  Do you like 11/3?  Is 11/2/11 better or should we go with the good ol' 11/1/11 (my only qualm is that it's the day after Halloween and I'm not sure if they'll like that or not like that...  thoughts? Doc might want us to go 37 weeks or later rather than earlier so it might have to be 11/3 or 11/4... (Not that I really think we're definitely gonna make it to that date- but doc said there's about a 50% rate that twin mamas make it to their scheduled c-section date).  If both babies are head down at that time, we'll try for a vaginal birth.  But if Bubba (the one who will come out last) is breech, we're not gonna do it.  We'll go for the c-section to avoid any added risk.

Ok, lots of updates today.  I hope everyone is doing well!

To-Do

B is a spreadsheet guy.  Now, I need to qualify this by saying that B is a closet spreadsheet guy and I really knew nothing of his spreadsheet needs until about a year into our relationship.  When you first look at the guy,  you might think "workout guy".  I think this is a reputation B's not too disappointed with.  The man is 6'5", 230 pounds of muscle and every single morning he wakes up and has a "protein shake" that consists of protein powder, milk, raw oatmeal and two.raw.eggs! all shaken together and taken down in about 10 seconds (don't ask). 

But the spreadsheet side to B is an intense near-addiction side that I've grown to love oh so dearly.  I started noticing his anxiety grow steadily when it had been 13, 14, 15 weeks into this pregnancy and I couldn't take care of myself let alone anything around the house.  B was keeping this place afloat solo style and I started to see him processing the "how much more of this could I take let alone all of the things we need to get done before the babies get here" thoughts around the 15 week timeframe quite a bit more.  He would drop a couple hints about "to-do lists" here and there.  This was B's subtle way of saying "oh dear lord I need a spreadsheet to keep my sanity".

I embrace B's spreadsheets.  He loves them.  I am the disorganized person in this marriage.  I'm the messy one. The one who wouldn't mind leaving dishes in the sink for days on end or dirty clothes next to the bed cuz I'm too tired to bend over and pick them up after a day at work.  Not supposed to be that way? I defy your rules!

Nonetheless, B's happiness truly is important to me.  Even though I do, often, leave my clothes on the floor or my dishes in the sink, I know that's not cool for him and I'm working on it.  But I've got to say, it's been a little harder than I thought it would be to go from doing absolutely nothing around the house because I couldn't a) stand the smell of anything and b) go more than 15 seconds standing up without feeling like I was going to yack/faint to now feeling better and wanting to help around the house but at the same time feeling like a rapidly growing elephant whilst working full-time...

I think you can all see where I'm going here.  I'm not helping much around the house still.  At all. I suck. BUT- in order to at least attempt to show B how much he means to me and how much I want to help...I made a spreadsheet!  It's pretty, and functional, and has things like checkmarks and color coding! ...but not too much color coding cuz then we'd be embarking on my own ideals of spreadsheets and not B's way of working them. :)

So I put together our "Before Babies To Do List" along with separate tabs for "Child Care" options that I've looked into, "Prenatal Classes" that I want to/have already signed up for with dates/times and "Dr Appts" that we have upcoming with the date, time, and reason for visit!!! BAAAAAAH!  I'm amazing.  Honestly.  I'm at a whole new level here- your jealousy is palpable.

Now, just the spreadsheet in and of itself is glorious and beautiful and all that...but the most important and thrilling part is that I've created "Flagholders" and completion dates(goals).  Flagholders? you might ask.  Well, I find this is only a term that my company's department's management team uses on an hourly basis- apparently it's not a commonly used word.  I shall elaborate.  Throwing out to-do items is one thing.  Anyone can do that.  But without proper Flagholders to man said items, it's all fluff.  B questioned part of this philosophy- recognizing that we both need to be a part of pretty much everything on this to-do list.  But being a part of the item does not make one the Flagholder.  Each item needs leadership.  They each need a dictatorial guide (that's not a real term, I'm just that awesome and egotistical) in order to direct the item to its ultimate success.  Take "choosing child care".  Now, there's no way in hell I'd take this one on by myself.  B wouldn't like that anyway.  But someone needs to lead the charge- set up the appointments/make the phone calls/whatnot.  Someone needs to decide when it's truly completed and come to the "we've made up our minds and we're going to stick with it" finale.  "WE'VE made up OUR minds" being crucial terms here- the flagholder doesn't always have total final say, just leadership responsibilities.

:)  I make myself happy.

Ok, so here are the three items we have officially checked off our to-do list (which at this point consists of 28 items- 3 of which can be done after the babies are born in the first several months- probably by hired help...but it grew by two items yesterday and I'm guessing will continue to do so on a daily basis...):

Baby Registry - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 18 weeks
Register at Hospital - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 19 weeks
Carbon Monoxide Detector - Flagholder: B - Completion Goal: 34 weeks (he's an overachiever)

We finished our registries yesterday online so I was a little late on that.  We registered for EVERYTHING that we might want though, including the stuff that we will want to buy ourselves (cribs, stroller, the big stuff) and not get as gifts because both places we registered (Bab.ies R Us and Buy Buy Ba.by) have discounts when you complete your registry so why not put the stuff on the registry and then get the discount when you purchase?? So that's also been great because its a running list of all the stuff we need to purchase too!

I registered online at the hospital yesterday as well and then we went to the hospital to see if we could sneak in an off-hours tour which, no, we couldn't.  BUT, I called ahead to see if we could see the NICU and they were super sweet and said to come on down at 3:00.  It was an incredibly overwhelming experience that honestly needs its own blog post to come later but I'm SO glad that we did that.  I hope to God that we don't have to spend much time there (no time would be great) but I feel much better about it than I did before and it helped soothe some of those very loud fears I've had...

Finally, B purchased a carbon monoxide detector online a few days ago and he got it on Friday, set it up, and I feel much better now.  Thanks B!!

So we're trucking right along! I have a list of three different daycares right around here that I want to call and go check out before 20 weeks, that's the goal (F that's in 4 days).  Hopefully I'll really love one of those or else we've already looked into some other options like nannies and such...that's, again, a whole other blog post. Oy.

OH!  And I've signed us up for a three day, three hours per day, Birthing and Breathing Class at the hospital which starts in about a month.  I know, I know, we're probably going to have a c-section.  But I want to be prepared in case there's a chance that I'll get to do a vaginal birth.  I'm still being realistic though.  I know.

I'm going to sign up for a Breastfeeding class, an Infant CPR class, and B wants to do the "New Dad Bootcamp" class at the hospital too!!! Yay! Those will be probably late August, early September.  Doc said to get all this stuff done before 28 weeks. Not a whole lotta time left.

So all in all, I'm feeling like a rockstar which hasn't happened much since I got the beautiful news that I got knocked up at the ol' fertility clinic... 

One more aside that I've been thinking about quite a bit but haven't really said for some reason.  I know my blog url is "wishingfortwins" and I thought that was cute and playful when we were starting out our IVF journey and I decided to create a blog for it but now that we're actually growing twin humans...I feel kinda weird about it. I don't know why I didn't really realize this before, but it kinda sounds like I'm one of those people that just really really really wanted twins and would go to google and search things like "how to make twins happen".  Those people are a little creepy to me.  I just want to put this out there that I was, in no way, one of those people.  I simply chose the url because IVF has a higher twin rate than say, hooking up with your hubby and seeing what happens. Plus, don't know if anyone out there knows this but IVF is super expensive and the whole two-for-one thing works out financially in a positive way.  But mostly, we were expecting to put two embryos into my uterus when we did IVF.  Thus, I was really hoping both would stick cuz those embryos are really like my children and "not sticking" isn't really something I like to think about when you get down to the details of it.  We got very lucky that both embryos were able to hold on this time around with IVF because I was attached to both embryos from the first moment they brought in that beautiful picture.  But twin pregnancies aren't always "lucky" if you will, and there's lots of complications that can accompany... anyway. I just don't want anyone thinking that's what I was all about. 

Ok- this was another one of One Day's epic novelistic blog posts.  Thanks for hanging in there if you did! :)

"Babies!"

I just had to post this morning because we had a big moment last night!  B got to feel the babies for the first time!!!

I was actually talking to a co-worker yesterday about how he hadn't felt them yet because everytime they would move it would be quick and I couldn't even get my hand there in time, let alone B's.  But last night, as I was snoogling with my snoo.gle after work and B was reading in bed next to me cuz he's just so nice to chill with me when I need my after-work break... I started feeling the baby flutters. Same as always, I didn't really do much about them. But then a few more right after.  And then one big kick that I could for SURE feel on the outside!  I sprinted to grab B's hand and throw it on my belly.  But, of course, nothing.  We sat there for probably 5 minutes with nothing but sweat forming because it was getting too hot to have a hand on my belly for that long (did I mention the 118?? and we turn our A/C to hotter during the day so it's not billions of dollars every month... and then it takes a while to get back into the high 70's in our house).  I finally looked at B with a big sad face and asked if he could feel anything.  He kind of frowned back and said no- I told you it was too early to feel it on the out...WAIT.  We both kind of paused.  I felt it, but I wasn't sure if B had.  Silence.  Then I felt it again, and I kind of jumped.  And then B just says "Babies!"

It was the friggin coolest thing ever.  Because then whoever it was, A or B, who was giving us this little show just kept going. It was the most kicking I've felt in a row yet. And they did it for Daddy! He kept his hand on my belly for a long time and everytime we'd feel another kick we'd both smile and look at eachother again.

Best part of the pregnancy yet. Hands down.

Love.