Confession

Alright, I'm going to do it. I'm gonna confess to the world (or to my 1 follower...)...

I have a problem with junk food. Seriously. It's a problem! I used to be an athlete- I had a nutritionist. I know what I'm supposed to be doing here. And yet, here I am. Drowning in a sea of doritos, jelly beans, and donut holes. What's wrong with me?

I may not be drowning per say. I mean, I've seen those shows with the people who need a crane to get out of their house. Let's put things in perspective. But I do have a bit of a problem. It's like my self control went out the door with my swimming career. I see the food, I know it's not good, and then I eat it. As simple as that.

I think I might be making a resolution here, so keep reading. We'll see what happens.

About a month ago I got on the scale and realized that I had almost gained all of the weight back that I took off for our wedding. That's a sad, sad day. I worked hard to lose that weight, I was proud of myself! I was actually almost at my goal on our wedding day. Glorious! One two week honeymoon and an accomplished feeling after running a half marathon later, and I'm inching closer and closer to that "not healthy" place.

I'm a tall girl. Really. Kind of freakish-tall. ;) I've got some muscle on me as well. So I'm never going to be down in the low or mid 100's. That's not in the cards for me (no matter how much I want to be able to take a piggy back ride up a hill one day...). Nope, I'm destined to be larger than the average girl. But hopefully not in the width category. Right now, I'm creeping that way very successfully! And the problem is, I know how to fix it. I just don't have the self control or motivation to make those sacrifices.

I'm more of a mover than a shaker. I'll go out there and start exercising pretty easily. I don't mind the burn of a longer than usual run, or the serious sweat of a spin class. I like it, really. And I do those things most of the time (I mean, this last week was an exception...). But shaking things up and actually EATING right would require a miracle from God it seems. I'm praying for it, just in case.

What I should be doing: Cutting out all fried foods (I didn't even used to like fried foods, what am I doing?), cutting out all carbonated beverages (again, who am I? I was the water girl through and through...), limiting sweets (this has never been my fortay. Ok, honestly, this is nearly impossible for me and I'm not going to go doing the impossible...), portion controlling (I still see myself as the swimmer who needed 3,000 calories a day. Yikes!), and drinking more water (eh, whatevs).

What I am doing: Eating anything and everything I can get my hands on that's simple, right there, and tasty.

::Big Pause::

I'm not ready for a serious life change just yet. I think I'd fail at it. And I'm not about dieting. I'll just gain it all right back plus. What about some modification?

First- the fried foods. I'm really liking the fried foods. Chips, appetizers...so yummy. But is it necessary for me to eat fried foods to get my cravings satisfied? I don't think so. I think I can substitute other things here. I crave salt regularly. I have options in this category. I heart dill pickles. Very low in calories and totally curb that salt craving. There's also nuts, hummus, light popcorn, and veggies (for the crunchy side of this particular craving). Add a little ranch for flavor and I might be in business.

Second- the carbonated bevies. I drink them because they're easy, let's be honest. I'm not usually wandering around NEEDING a soda. That's not really me. But when it's there, I'm gonna drink it. So I need to have water more readily available. It's back to the water bottle lifestyle for me. And water with lemons is delish in my book. Squeeze some of those babies in there and I'm good to go. Yeah, this one's a done deal . Plus, caffeine is a risk factor for unsuccessful IVF. Sweet- motivation!

Third- Sweets. I will not cut out sweets. That's some sort of foolish self torture. I'm not into self mutilation of any form. So I will eat sweets. I may, just maybe, try to cut back a bit though. I'm at work, there's a birthday (every third day, it's ridiculous)- I will not go for the corner piece of cake with the most frosting. I will go for a middle piece. And I will request a smaller size! How empowering. And I will not go on hunts for people who have candy sitting out on their desk. I will stock my own desk with items that will help me get through these moments of weakness. Maybe some Hershey's kisses. Maybe some mints! Those are always good to keep my mouth pre-occupied. I like it!

Finally- Portion Control. Yikes. I'm looking at a serious mind shift when it comes to this category. Here's my motivation- when I get pregnant, I want people to notice. I don't want my current belly to disguise said pregnancy. In order to lose the weight around my mid-section...I must eat less. Period. I can still eat what I want for the most part, I really just need to eat less of it. This is a big problem with my current hunger levels. In order to assist with this- I'll drink more water!!! Yes, I'm telling you it works. Not always, but about 37% of the time. I'll think I'm hungry, then I drink water and I can be good to go. Now, if I wait until I'm hungry AND craving something in particular (salt, sweets, chicken wings, etc), then a water bottle ain't helping. But if I start to feel a teensy bit hungry, and then I drink some water, it usually helps quite a bit.

Good- a mild resolution of some do-able changes. Anyone with me?