My Pants Don't Fit!

Seriously, I tried on three pairs of pants this morning to go to the appointment and then work...and not one of them fit.  I'm sitting here in the last pair I tried on, which are super high wasted so they don't hit the ovary area of my midsection...and they're still really tight. I'm not going to lie to you (even though I really, really want to), I haven't exactly been eating like I care. I mean, I had a egg sandwich for breakfast, and washed it down with a double chocolate chip cranberry nut cookie.  A big one.  And then I had a salad and soup for lunch, and washed it down with 6 mini oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.  I thoroughly plan on having some super healthy fish or turkey for dinner, topped with caramel chocolate sauce and breaded with...cookies.

Ok, for the real stuff.  Our third monitoring appointment was the first one with no bad news!!!!!!!! Yes, you heard that right- the fluid has evacuated! ***Too Much Info Alert**** (My brother may want to skip to the next paragraph...) It actually came out last night.  It didn't reabsorb like nice lady fluid, all discreet and elegant like. No, no. It straight came out.  Now, I've committed to honesty on this blog because I think it may help other women out there who are going through or who will go through IVF to know the truth.  So here goes... it was a dark brown discharge, like at the very end of a period.  I have no idea if that's what it was, some sort of super sticky lingering uterine lining...or what.  But that's what it looked like.  Ok, I'm sorry. Gross. Oh- and Dr. Z (who is not the Dr. Z from the Bay Area...but they sound similar) said that my uterine lining looks perfect right now, three layers or three stripes or something.  And then this afternoon, more "fluid" came out. So hopefully that's still ok. It wasn't a lot today, much more last night. Yikes. Oh man, I had to tell B last night when I discovered this "fluid". I mean this damn fluid has been taking over our lives for the past three days.  So I come out of the bathroom, said something like "hmm...interesting", sparked his interest, made him beg to know what I was talking about because I'm sneaky and super weird, and then told him that I sort, kinda, sorta just bled. Sorta. He got the most horrific confused look on his face.  So I told him that it wasn't really like a bleed. No, it was more like...well...dark.  More confused face by B.  So then I said that I thought the uterine fluid came out.  Happier look by B! Then he got quiet, looked a little perplexed, and asked how that was possible.  I believe the words "so it just fell out...of your uterus...how is that possible?" came out of his mouth.  I love that man! Don't get me wrong, I didn't think this evil fluid would come out like that either- I was thinking reabsorb.  That was my mantra. Reabsorb, reabsorb, reabsorb.  But, alas, that's the quicker way!

Alright- so my uterus is back on board. I still have those scary feelings about the studies that have shown that fluid at any point is bad for transfer.  We talked a lot about this. B and I. Dr. Z and us (well, as long as he would allow).  And decided that if the follicles continue to do what they are doing, we'll go ahead with transfer.  Dr. Z feels strongly that the fluid only matters if it's there at transfer. He's the expert. The internet is the devil. So that's how we're going to work it out, this time at least. 

Follicles= yippee! Beside the fact that my pants don't fit, my stomach feels like it's going to rip open and monsters will climb out, and that all too familiar endometriosis on my ureters/kidneys feeling is back...I'm super happy about my follicles!  We had even more measured today than yesterday, somewhere around the 16-20 mark, the doctor stopped counting.  They were pretty much all about 18-20mm as well.  OHSS you might ask? I honestly don't know. I'll let you know if I get any crazy symptoms.  I'm drinking a TON of water. But it's very nice to have the ovaries cooperating...I've had so many ruptured ovarian cysts in my life, I thought for sure these little ladies had quit their job completely.  And with only a half on the left side, it was so good to see that I had close to as many over there.  (Dr. Z pointed out the right is definitely better, but the left is playing along, too). 

At this point, we're hoping that my uterine lining stays nice and tripled, my ovaries don't turn out to be full of cysts instead of follicles, and that I find some pants that fit for the next little while.

Dr. Z thinks probably one more day of stims before we trigger. No changes to our meds at all during this. He's thinking trigger tomorrow night. That means retrieval Thursday morning! HOLY CRAP! I love that.  I finally have some color back in my face- the idea of retrieving without a transfer at all was not my favorite.  Let's hope this sticks...in so many ways!