ow.

I have the most horrific looking bruise on my belly from the first gnarley follistim/menopur/lupron injection.  I mean, goodness.  That's a lot of drugs in one syringe. It's nice to not have 47 different injections, but yikes. I almost slugged B in the mouth when he started pushing the meds in. Of course, I would have needed to blame that type of reaction on the medication... or there's a chance B wouldn't be sticking this thing out with me.

Awesome story from our very first stim injection:  B got pretty confident with those little Lupron injections.  Just pull out a bit of Lupron, find a good spot, stick and walk away.  This new process is a little more involved. It took us 30 minutes to get everything ready for the "stick" part, and I'm sure B was looking forward to the walk away part.  He comes at me with the mildly bigger and more intimidating needle and I eye him like his life could end any minute. I proceed to watch every move as he begins the injection, and then BAM! This is definitely no Lupron injection. He pushed the needle in harder than I would have ever preferred and a little tear formed in my eye... I'm squirming now, and saying things like "wait, no. ow. stop!! wait, don't stop, hurry up. no!!! too fast. I hate you. Slow down. Is it over? wtf?!?!?!" all while pushing way too hard at his arm to get him away from me while he's pushing back to try and finish this God awful process.
"Go slower"
"I'm going as slow as I can without just leaving this needle in you!"
Lovely. So he finally gets all of this massive amount of medication into my stomach fat and pulls the needle out, which for some reason decided to attach to my body and become one with my belly skin. So he tugs a little and I'm watchig my skin pull up with the needle. WTF!? The needle finally releases my skin with a flick and I start bleeding a little too much for B or my liking.  So B grabs the first thing he sees to wipe my stomach off and comes at me...with the ALCOHOL SWAB! I start flailing and screaming at him that he's lost his mind. He stops short, looks at me, looks at the gaping wound on my stomach (tiny hole with a big blood bubble), looks at the alcohol swab, back at me, and say "oh, yeah. good call. no alcohol".  Tear rolls down my face.

Tonight's went better. There was still a significant amount of squirming and obsenity usage.  And there was sufficient guilt on B's side.  I tried to ice the area before which helped a little. And B was careful not to push the needle in so far. He's very strong. He has to be concious of the difference between my belly fat and, say, a 2x4. He's getting there.

First noticed side-effects- holy ovarian pain batman.  So, if you're me- don't be all that excited about starting stims. Because it means that you can feel your ovaries again.  Like, really feel them.  I want to dig them out with forks, because they feel like foreign objects plotting to take over my abdomen.  I used to feel my ovaries when I wasn't on birth control.  Or when I had mad crazy cysts.  But it's been a while. I woke up this morning after our first shot last night and definitely felt that familiar sharp pain in my right lower quadrant.  And a little in the left, too.  But nothing too horrible, just a familiar yuck.

I lost two pounds over night last night.  My body is a bizarre cluster#$@* I've decided.  It does exactly the opposite of what I expect or plan. Really, my body and I have been fighting one another for some time.  One day I will beat it into submission, I swear...or B will inject it into submission.

No more running for me, now.  We went to the gym and I walked on the treadmill tonight for 30 minutes at a 3.3 speed and a 4 incline. Sad. I was yawning.  I got my heart rate up to 110.  Ugh, waste.  But then we did some upper body lifting so hopefully if I keep building muscle I can stay mildly in shape.  As long as I'm healthy enough for a pregnancy, I'm happy!