I'm here. I'm back. Not to say that I'll be writing every day (or even twice a day) like I was a couple months ago- but I've missed you!
We're in a holding pattern for baby making right now. I'm on birth control and hoping to get my life (and weight) back in order. Picking up the pieces has absolutely commenced and I'm feeling better. Good, even.
Vegas was glorious. Seriously, I don't think I could have asked for anything more. It was perfectly perfect and everything that both the B and I needed. And wanted. ...and deserved maybe??? :) too much?
So now we're home and feeling a little post-vacation depression. Every time I hear a sound that even remotely reminds me of a slot machine I get sad. Ha. But we're feeling much more stable emotionally. We can talk about IVF finances without wanting to scream at God (that's not good, try not to do that...) or scream at Dr. Z or whatnot. We can talk about how many more chance we have at this without feeling a total sense of "why me?". We're getting back to where we were- knowing that this is the path we're on, and that's that, and we've known that for a while now...so suck it up and smile. Keep battling, cuz there's no point in wallowing forever.
Now there is something I'm still wallowing about...my big fat belly. I would oh so love to blame this big fat belly on a beautiful little baby (no I'm not even gonna try to go back and figure out how far along I would be right now, I'm not in that place...which is a good thing). Nope, my big fat belly is all pastas and vinos, and glorious super buffets. I mean, for the love, we had two all you can eat LOBSTER buffets in Vegas. God bless.
So now I'm sitting here, 6 pounds heavier than I was AFTER all of the awful IVF hormones, and feeling like I've got nothing to blame but myself. And I hate having nothing to blame but myself. Boo.
I was running still, before our vacay. I got up to actually running 30 minutes straight. Yes, STRAIGHT! Without stopping. Like a damn rockstar. And then we went to Vegas and now I'm sure that my first run back will leave me crawling on the sidewalk like a fool...
Just hope no one stops to offer help. That would feel sad.
My half marathon is in 12 weeks. I've got to get my ass in gear in 12 weeks. This time last year I was still on my honeymoon, I was 28 pounds lighter, and I was uber super awesome fit. But I still didn't run even one time on our honeymoon (cuz who does that??). So when I got back I sorta had to start from scratch training for the half. And I did it. In 11 weeks. Which totally means I can do it this time, right? Right? RIGHT?!
Those extra 28 pounds aren't TOO heavy...