You two are five months old today! I spent a little extra time watching each of you play today, breathing in your quickly fading "smallness" and admiring your ever growing personalities and energy! On your five month birthday, I still can't believe that you're here in my arms, that I could be so lucky to be called your Mommy.
You, my dear, are our tiny little princess. As your brother sky rockets to the top (and off) of all of the growth charts, you have steadily maintained your spot as little baby girl, hanging out below the 50th percent for all of your measurements. And I just couldn't love it more! I adore your tinyness, how light you feel in my arms as I rock you down for your naps, how easy it is to hold you over my head for our new fun game of rocket ship, and how small your little hands feel as they hold my fingers while you eat. I still catch myself treating you like a newborn, trying to just snuggle with you when you wake up from a nap or asking you to fall asleep on my chest. The smallness has worked to our advantage in that we're getting some good use out of all the clothes we bought you because you aren't growing out of them all too fast. You're also using all of the smaller sized diapers that we bought when your brother was wearing them but grew out of them extremely fast! You're in size 2 diapers, but they're still a little big on you. And you're in size 6 month clothes (but honestly, you could still fit into size 3 month and probably some newborn stuff if I really wanted to try...) While you still feel so small to me, you're anything but a newborn these days!
You've taken off this month in your ability to move around and "play"! You love tummy time and will gladly hang out on your stomach for nearly the entire playtime if you have some of your favorite toys to reach for and chew on. I put your favorite rattle (all kinds of colors and loops to hang onto! how fun!) just out of your reach while you were doing some tummy time today and you squirmed and grunted your way closer and closer until you lunged for it and won your prize! I can't believe my little girl is already moving around like that. You're rolling over all the time so I can let you just hang on the mat and do whatever it is that you'd like! It's so fun to watch you play now with your determination, giggles, and sometimes frustration (when you can't figure out how to get to something...or can't get the entire toy in your mouth like you want to). You're just this tiny little person, growing up so fast!
You've started to recognize that any object can be your toy and love grabbing for whatever it is that I'm holding. You love playing with empty water bottles and trying to get my phone into your mouth. Pretty much anything that you come into contact with needs to see the inside of your mouth before deemed acceptable as your play thing. I have so much fun watching you explore anything and everything.
I will say that while I love watching you play, I'll always miss those days of snuggling while you were awake. You want to be moving and shaking now as you learn about the world around you. But part of that new growth comes one of my favorite things about you- your giggle! The giggles have really started to come out now, you're not holding them back anymore. We get you to laugh by blowing raspberries on your neck and tummy, making big surprised faces and noises at you, tickling and kissing your feet, and holding you up over our heads to fly you around. You make a cute little laugh and snort in between each chuckle! It lights up my day every single time.
You're eating pretty well right now. You went through a short period where you weren't eating much at all, but you're pretty regularly taking about 4-5 ounces per bottle 4 times per day, and then two larger bottles of about 6-7 ounces (right before bed and then when you wake up to eat in the early AM). You're sleeping pretty well recently, waking up for a binky replacement around midnight sometimes and around 3am, but not acting hungry until around 5 or so most days. Sometimes even later. Then you fall back to sleep until around 8am. You just recently figured out this whole napping thing and most days you'll take at least one longer nap of over an hour. You will also throw in one shorter nap before bedtime, which now is SO early at about 6:30pm. I wish you two would stay up a bit later, but if we wait any longer you fall asleep in the living room! You are still addicted to your binky, but you've been a little more vocal about not wanting it each time I think you do, so you'll purse your lips and push it away- you're getting quite the little attitude at times, but it's great that you're showing us what you want and don't want! And honestly, I think your diva-ways are way too cute. :)
Speaking of Diva, you've recently taken to "stranger danger" and have cried when someone else tries to hold you other than Mommy or Daddy. While I love the attention, I'm worried about you starting daycare in a couple of weeks when Mommy goes back to work. You were resisting even your Papa holding you last weekend, but luckily when he came to watch you yesterday you were all smiles and VERY willing to let him hold you and rock you to sleep! :)
Grace, I never want to forget how cute you are when you try to stick an entire toy in your mouth and get mad when it's just not possible. I love how vibrant you are and how your personality is standing you more and more each day. Please don't stop giving me those beautiful wide open mouth grins! I absolutely melt when I see your cute gummy smile, which is so often nowadays. You're such a happy little girl!
I also never want to forget how adorable your hair is right now! It's so fuzzy and it sticks straight up. Especially right after you get a bath! You've become very fond of bath time and you rarely ever cry afterwards anymore. You like to splash around so much that I decided it was time for your first adventure to the big swimming pool! We took you to an infant swim class and you did so well. You didn't love floating on your back too much, but you still did it for a long time. You looked adorable in your red and white polka dot bikini! You also looked so cute staring in the mirror on the side of the pool. Your Daddy and I traded off who was holding who in the pool, and you had fun with both of us. But I think you're still a Daddy's girl at heart.
Your eczema seems to be getting a lot better, and I'm hoping that the chlorine from the pool will help like it always did for mine. We put lotion all over you after every bath and before bedtime each night. I think that's helping a lot! I've also cut out all dairy foods which seems to help both you and your brother. You're both less fussy and you have pretty much stopped spitting up completely! I think it might be helping with your eczema, too. You're now taking two bottles of formula a day and the rest is still breastmilk. I'm weaning you off of breastmilk slowly so you can have formula at daycare when I go back to work.
Little lady, my sweet sweet baby girl, I can't fathom how I even lived so long without you. You and your brother are my entire world and I love every minute of looking into those beautiful big blue eyes. I can't wait to see just what amazing thing you'll do next! I love you with all of my heart.
Caleb, my big boy!
You, little guy, are not so little anymore. You're over 19 pounds now, and you're already in size 9 month clothes! You've just grown out of your size 3 diapers, so we had to rush out for some size 4's to avoid any more leaks... I think we're in denial about how big you're getting so fast. But I'm loving every inch of squishy, chubby cuteness!
I think my favorite part of how big you're getting is the huge cheeks you get when you give me one of your famous open mouth Caleb smiles! All of those chins and your adorable dimple come out with each of your smiles and they make me giddy with joy. You smile all.the.time, when I smile at you, talk to you, tickle your tummy or chest, pinch your cheeks, hold you over my head, or bounce you up and down. You love all of it! It's so much fun to hang out with you because you're just so happy!
You pretty much love everybody. You'll flash those gummy grins to anyone who smiles back at you. But you save the best ones for me, I think. You're very cuddly and when you're tired you just collapse into my arms and give me a huge bear hug. I love rocking you before your naps because you get so quiet and calm and breathe into my ear this enormously peaceful sigh. That's when I know you're ready for your nap, and it makes me so happy you feel so calm in my arms.
You are napping for about 40 minutes at a time max at this point, and your sleeping at night has been pretty rough lately. Sometimes you wake up every hour or more at night just for a binky. I don't know if it's that you're hungry or restless, but I know you are having a lot of trouble falling to sleep most nights. You will slam your legs down in your crib when you startle yourself as you try to doze off, I can tell you're frustrated and just want to sleep! Poor baby.
You're also still having some trouble eating a lot of the time. You eat a good amount still, about 5-6 ounces in 4 bottles and 7-8 ounces in the other two. But you will pull off of the bottle like you're full, but then want more soon after. And sometimes you pull off of the bottle screaming like you're in pain. Sometimes it takes an hour to feed you your bottle because you're pulling away and then asking for more over and over again. We went to the doctor a few days ago but they're not sure what it is. We'll keep trying, though buddy! Although, sometimes you're perfectly fine and take your bottle without a hitch. Usually you're sleepy at those times, so we think you might just be really distracted...
There's so much to look at and explore now that you're growing up! You haven't rolled over yet, but you're getting a lot stronger every day. You can bear weight on your legs more now, so we practice standing up every day. You started going crazy on your play mat trying to swing at the toys. You get into destructive mode and swing like you really mean it! You've ripped down all of the rings on both mats, you've got quite the arm little dude!
You also started splashing around a lot more in the bath. You used to just sit in there very relaxed. But recently you've discovered it's a lot more fun to try and kill the water with your powerful swinging and kicking. We took you to the pool last week and you LOVED it! You especially loved when Daddy was blowing bubbles in your face. You just kept smiling and giggling. You didn't really like it when he poured water over your head...we might have jumped the gun on that one. Sorry buddy.
Your favorite toy is this stuffed monkey that honestly looks a little "off", but you love when we tickle your tummy with it. Of course you love the hanging toys on your playmat, and your starting to try to put toys in your mouth, too!
Little man, I never want to forget the conversations we have as you practice your "GOOO"s and your "MMMM"s!! You will talk and talk all day long. And you absolutely love it when I talk back to you and mimick the noises you're making. You start smiling so big that it's hard for you to talk anymore! :)
I can't tell you how much fun I'm having watching you learn and grow every day. I love when we stare at each other and just smile for a while. I could look at those beautiful hazel eyes all day, they're looking more and more like your Daddy's every time I look at you. I hope you know how in love with you I am, bubba. You're such a sweet and funny little guy, I just adore you!
Luckies, my precious littles. I have had the most amazing five months at home with you. It has been such a beautiful experience spending my days holding you, comforting you, feeding you, watching you play, talking to you, singing for you, and smiling with you. I will never forget how lucky I am to have you both and to be your Mommy. I'm going back to work next month and it's going to be harder for me than you'll ever know. I'm going to miss having so much time to just stare at you and learn all about your precious little personalities. I hope you know how wonderful it has been for me. And how sorry I am that I can't do it forever.
I'm sure that you'll love daycare, but know that each and every moment that you're away from me, I'm thinking of you. I'm wishing I was with you, holding you, or just being near you. Thank you for changing my life in such an amazing and brilliant way. You have made me a better person in just the five months that you've been here.
I love you with every piece of me.