Graduating!

Yes, we're graduating to size 1 diapers over here! Very big news!  We ordered a ginormous box of like 300 size ones that just came in the mail today.  That'll last us about 10 days... ;)

B has this week off of work which is just so incredibly stellar.  I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes when he's home.  It's like I can breathe again.  I'm dreading him going back to work next week because this is his last extended vacation...after this he's back at work full-time all the time. :( 

I'm taking advantage of him being home (I've learned this is crucial to my sanity).  I actually went for a RUN today!  I mean, I don't know if you can call it a run per-say.  I did the first day of the Couch-To-5k running program, which is one of my favorite workout programs ever.  I've been cleared to start exercising however I see fit, but taking it slowly.  So this program is perfection.  The first week, you only run 60 seconds at a time with 90 seconds of rest in between.  Technically, the program calls for running three times per week.  I'd love to say I'll do that, but let's be realistic here.  There's a hierarchy of needs in my life now, and running/exercise is falling around number 64.  If I have any free time I'm either trying my absolute hardest to fall asleep, get some mildly healthy food in me, clean bottles, pump, clean more bottles, pick up stray dirty diapers, move around baby stuff for the 700th time, or just try to sit down and relax for a bit.  Oh, and of course there's the ridiculous amount of research I feel called to do via go.ogle to figure out how to help twins sleep through the night, how to tell if baby has reflux, the best way to suction snot out of baby's nose, what to do if twins are going through growth spurts separately, when to transition to the crib, how to make crying it out feel less cruel, what to do when baby spits out pacifier every 3.5 minutes and starts screaming about it...you know, the usual.

We're starting on the Babywise method with the twins this week.  We've been doing the eat/play/sleep routine since they were born (I mean, as much as possible with the sleepiest late-preterm babies ever).  But now we're starting to listen for cues a little more and let them settle themselves down more often. So far today has been stellar.  Caleb being sick throws a wrench in it a bit...I can't let him soothe himself really. But if I just go put my hand on his chest and kiss his forehead he calms down and honestly has fallen straight to sleep every time.  Grace is doing really well with it so far, too.  But it's only been one day.  We'll see.  They both are absolutely on the 3 hour schedule. Honestly, you could set your watch on Caleb's need to eat. Every three hours on the dot he's starting his adorable grunting routine to let us know that he's got his hands in his mouth justincaseyoucouldn'tseeme.  "I'll eat these hands if you don't feed me within 4 minutes, Mom. Don't test me."  Love him.  He's getting HUGE!!! Almost 10 pounds.  Look at this little man now:

Do you remember what he looked like before? 

Yeah- look at my hand compared to him.  He was SOOO skinny, it was terrifying to me.  And this was like 8 days old, he wasn't even just born.  Yikes.  Little man has taken it upon himself to show me what's up.  :)

His nose is getting progressively better every day.  He gets stuffier when he gets worked up, so if I happen to be feeding Grace first and he wakes up hungry while she's on the bottle...oh here comes the grunting.  Poor little dude.  That's probably the hardest part about being a twin mom so far.  I want to be there when they are crying right away...but sometimes that means neglecting one of them.  It feels awful.  As soon as their tummies get a little better at managing feedings without the need for an immediate burp or a massive spit up, I'll try to attempt the tandem bottle feeding with boppies or bouncies again. They're just each too high maintanence for it right now it seems.

Grace is hanging in there without getting this bug so far.  She has the occasional bout of coughing that gets me all worried that it's coming...but so far she's not too stuffy and no signs of any trouble breathing. She's not growing nearly as fast as Caleb, but I think she's growing right on schedule, about an ounce a day or so.  She looks happily plump...and I just adore her little chubby baby knees!!! That's my favorite part :) Her hair is getting longer, too! Daddy tried to put some of his hair product in it this afternoon and I flipped out. haha

She's mastering the art of breaking out of her swaddle, sadly.  Looks like swaddles might be a thing of the past for us. :(

I'm going to see a counselor finally on Wednesday.  You'd think they'd get a post-partum depression patient in a little faster...but alas, it's finally here. I really don't know how it's gonna go.  I know I have a few things I want to talk about- and it's funny, I'm actually a little ashamed to write them out here.  Probably because I know there are so many of my friends and family who read this.  Basically, I'm still feeling out of sorts...having some trouble adjusting from time to time.  I love my babies with everything I have, every inch of my being.  They are our world.  It's overwhelming really.  And that's where the counselor comes in.  I need to understand how to handle these immense feelings, and this hugely drastic change.  I need some help in coping with the newness of it all. 

But good Lord, I wouldn't trade a minute of it for the world.  Look at them.  Just look at them.  Can you blame me? They are the most precious things I've ever seen.  They are perfect...and they rely solely on B and I.  Luckies, I hope we're everything you need.  I hope you know how much you mean to us.  How desperate we are to be perfect for you...all the while knowing we can be nothing of the sort.  It's terrifying, but gratifying at the same time.

Alright, Mr. Caleb has apparently decided that nap time is a no-go.  Time to see if my "hand-on-chest" trick will work again- I'm not holding my breath. ;)