Saturday, January 14, 2012

12 Weeks Old- wow!

I mean, I can't believe they're almost three months! 

I really need to get to bed but I wanted to commemorate the 12 week mark.  We're having a rough go around here right now.  Caleb has a staff infection in his eye that's gotten worse.  B is coming down with something, I think the flu, so he isn't able to help with feedings- brutal to do this alone by the way.  And little Gracie seems to be having some worse-than-usual tummy trouble (i hope hope hope she's not getting sick).

But they're also smiling a lot more.  And swatting at their toys more. And I can see that they really really want to grab things, but they can't yet and they get frustrated and it's totally cute.

The cooing is pretty stellar, too.  :)

Here are some pics of the last week:

Look at that sore eye :(

Ps- Had my first cycle since I got knocked up at the doctor's office.  Not cool- I thought I'd get a little more time since I'm still exclusively pumping- no go.  But it's awesome that I'm still able to exclusively pump, even with my ginormous son eating 8 or 9 ounces in a feeding from time to time. Yikes.  He's already almost 15lbs! Not even three months old!

Pss- Pumping sucks.  As soon as I finally get the babies down I have to hook up to a machine for 20 minutes- which doesn't really feel as relaxing as it may seem!  :(

Psss- I'm so tired.  I really appreciate the helpful tips on my last post about the soothing techniques- we're using the 5 s's a lot- but not always.   It helps calm them down, but won't get them to sleep.  I make sure to put them down between every feeding when I notice their sleep cues- I'm not sure if I'm trying to get them to sleep too much or if I'm too late....but they have the hardest time staying asleep (and sometimes falling asleep).  They're addicted to their binkies now which sucks cuz they spit them out every 4 minutes...ugh.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  And they WON'T go to bed (and stay asleep) before 10pm. They totally fight it and I'm not ready to do CIO or anything yet so it's been a bit of a mess.  We don't have a great bed time routine, maybe that's the problem.  But they don't like baths, so I can't use that.  What else can I do?  And should I do it at the time they're actually going to sleep, or when I want them to go to sleep?

Psssssss-  I'm so totally in love with these tiny little creatures!  I can't stand how blessed we are, and how lucky I feel.  I keep remembering back when we weren't sure we'd ever get here.  When I get super tired of pumping or really overwhelmed, I think of Petri- of our journey. And I think of those of you who are still in it.  It's not fair- none of it, really.  The guilt I feel for being overwhelmed, the fact that it was so hard to get here- which contributes to these difficult feelings I have now...and the face that it happened for us but hasn't happened for so many wonderful men and women who have helped me so much through this.  It's like I don't feel worthy... I guess I'm just a mess. 


  1. I think you are doing great! Twins must be so difficult. Do not feel guilty but focus on the fact that we look at you with your adorable babies and it gives us hope it might be us one day. X

  2. Spit up and sore eye they are so cute!

  3. What a couple of cutie pies you have there!

  4. Isn't time flying by so fast? But aren't they getting more and more amazing by the day too?

    Sorry you've all been under the weather, hope everyone is feeling better by now (I am way behind on blogs, sorry!)

    I can't believe how big Caleb has got, he's almost as big as Oscar and Oscar is as big if not bigger than my friends' babies who are a few months older than him (and is currently wearing some 6-9 month clothes as he is so darn long!) so to say Caleb was much smaller at birth he has done some amazing growing, and all on mummy milk!

    You should be so proud of being able to exclusively feed them this long! I had to start switching around 6 weeks and by 12 weeks Oscar was on formula with just one comfort feed a day (which we continue) as my body just couldn't get a grip on the oversupply. So you have done amazing to produce enough for the two of them and keep going :)

    As for bedtime, well Oscar never goes to sleep before 11pm and usually not before midnight and then will rouse about 4am and sometimes needs a top up before going another 1-3 hours. I know so many women whose babies sleep a solid 7-12 hours at night but we're just not there yet and that's ok (apart from making us extra tired) because I remember those first weeks when he wouldn't sleep at all between 11pm and 4am so I'm not complaining! I honestly think some babies just aren't ready to sleep through at this age and so it doesn't matter what you do, they will still stay awake.

    What we have found helps to get him to sleep once he is ready though is playing white noise (I downloaded a free app for my phone which I lay in the cot near him until he is asleep). It stops him grizzling enough to actually drift off to sleep. But it only works when he's ready, it won't send him to sleep if we put him to bed any earlier!