9w5d

We're closing in on double digits here people!!! I'm so excited and hopeful, but of course there's still that small doubt that lingers- reminding me of what could happen.  We haven't reached that 12 week breathe easier time, but we're getting closer. 

I wish I felt better so I could share more about the good things that are going on with this pregnancy! I can't fathom sitting up most of the time, let alone typing anything.  But I wanted to update with just a little piece of the happiness that is our beautiful pregnancy. 

We went back to the doctor's yesterday and everything looks great with the little luckies! They're growing right on schedule or a little ahead and their heart rates are strong! Both were 181 yesterday! But the best part was when we zoomed in on little B...we got to see a wave! Yep- he or she waved at us right as we zoomed in.  One little arm, swaying side to side just for a bit.  It was the most amazing thing.  That was actually an ARM!  Crazy.

So while I came home and had to let the nurse back into my house to set up my second five day round of IV fluids- then lay down in the middle of the process because my blood pressure dropped to 94/52...I just remember my little lucky waving at me.  "Hi Mom!"  I know this is all worth it, so very, very worth it.  Both of our babies are growing strong, and I'm helping with every infusion, every bagel, every cracker.  I'm doing everything I possibly can...and I feel good about that.  I'll be here for you luckies, I'll keep pushing!  But you have to, too.  Keep growing little ones.  We love you!

Now, before I go, I need to mention one thing.  And he's gonna think I'm just buttering him up or just "saying this"...but you all need to know the most important piece to this pregnancy.  The only thing that's getting me through, that's keeping these little ones healthy.  It's my B.  Without him and the unbelievable amount of work and effort he's putting in to help us...I don't know where we would be right now.  I'm sure you've gathered from my posts that I'm not exactly in the best place physically and that means I can't really do much on my own.  But you have no idea how little I can do on my own right now.  And I kid you not, I couldn't do this without him.  He brings me everything I need- he goes to the store every other day to get something new that I think I might be able to stomach.  He picks up any food at any distance that sounds even remotely appetizing, just to get home and watch me eat one bite and gag.  He picks up after me, brings me my medicine, changes my IV bags, helps me walk to the bathroom when I'm too dizzy to stand.  He comes home from work at a whim when I feel like something's really wrong again...and he does it over and over without the slightest complaint.  He holds my hand and let's me cry on his shoulder.  All the while telling me to make a fist and show him my "tough face" because this is all worth it.  He lets me break when I need to, and then builds me back up again because he knows what's important. He makes me laugh when I think there's nothing I could do but cry. He is my rock and my pillow...he's the most amazing man.  And I'm so lucky that he's the father of my unborn children.  We're all so lucky.

B- thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.  You are my world and I couldn't do this without you.  I'm so proud of who you are for this family, and I thank God every day for giving me you. You're going to be such an incredible Dad...and you're the best husband a girl could ask for.