19 Weeks!

1. We are over the halfway mark for twins!!! That's just crazy for me- holy wow. Even if we go all the way to 38 weeks (which is sounding less and less likely as the doc said she would probably schedule a c-section for 37 weeks) we'd be halfway.  I just keep praying that we keep making it one more day at a time, one more week...but deep down...please God let us make it to 37 weeks.

2. I can't post comments on blogger blogs!  It's driving me insane.  There are so many things I want to say (even though I haven't been a good commenter since the hyperemesis started, but I'm feeling much better and get to get on and read every other day or so).  I will say on here that I want to wish KC good good luck and that I'm thinking of her as she waits those excruciating 3-5 days after retrieval! Go wish her good thoughts.

3. There are so many others that I'm reading about and am nervous/anxious/excited/totallyunderstandwhatthey'regoingthrough for right now.  And it's weird how many pregnancy and mommy-after-infertility blogs I'm reading now. I had a hard time reading those sometimes, even though I knew what they'd been through.  So I totally get why it would be hard to read this blog for those still "in the trenches" if you will. I love what Elphaba said in her recent post about the awkward transition from IF blogger to pregnant blogger... I just started following her journey a couple weeks ago but she's a great writer and I like what she has to say.

4. I was SOOOOO excited when I got home yesterday from work and saw two packages on the kitchen counter.  The first one I opened because I knew what it was- my SNO.OGLE!!!  I didn't know what I was missing.  Honestly.  It's like they got all of the pregnant women who ever existed into one room and figured out exactly what they all needed in a pregnancy pillow and then created the snoo.gle.  Ok, maybe that's a bit much.  But I can't believe I waited this long.  I've been uncomfortable for a while now when I sleep and just kept putting more and more comforter in between my knees to help align my hips...well anyway, this is way better.  Lovely.

5. I didn't think the next package could ever live up to the snoo.gle...and then I opened it.  It was from two of my amazing friends from college who just wanted to send B and I a gift for the luckies!!! I cried.  Yes, I cried.  Thank you girls!!! I opened it up and there were two bibs- one pink and one blue- that say "If you think I'm cute,  you should see my twin"!  Pause for miniature freak out.  Yes, I did.  And then, my favorite part because I've found some sort of obsession with "binkies" since I decided to try one out myself last weekend- two teeny tiny little binkies- one blue and one pink of course- that both say "I'm the favorite".   AWWWWWW!  I've seriously become a pile of mush around all things baby.  I mean, it's all so small and so huggable.  Have you ever hugged a binky?  If you're infertile- you will. If you're not infertile, just do it.  It's glorious.  I don't even know if we'll use binkies (I have no qualms, just wondering what our little luckies will be like...you never know, maybe they won't like them??) but I just envision these tiny little mouths that fit these tiny little binkies and then I cry for a good five minutes.  Could this really be happening?  Could we really get these two tiny little blessings?  Ok, crying again.

6. Just to track the goings-on in our little pregnant world-  Sunday I had massive pain in my lower abdomen that turned into stabbing type pains and pressure into my lady bits as well as my bum.  I was worried but every time I ever call the doctor I just feel like such a hypochondriac pansy and then they tell me to take 600 mg of Ad.vil and of course confirm my hypochondriac pansyness without saying it... So I didn't call all day while I attempted to shop at Buy Bu.y Ba.by with B and my mom.  She loves that store and I was excited to go with her.  But I ruined it with all of my pain and groaning.  Then we went back to my parent's house and had a glorious meal that I ruined some more with my complaining. Finally we went home and it got way worse when I would stand up (got better when I laid down) so I called and go the other doc in our clinic who was on call.  She told me that I was on the border of "go to the ER" and "take some Ad.vil".  I hate the ER, honestly.  And if she wasn't super duper worried I figured I'd try the drugs and see if I could sleep.  She did tell me I needed to get in the next day for a check though.  So, of course, I was able to sleep and then woke up feeling much better (pansy) but called for a check up anyway cuz it was scary.  I got to see the luckies again and they look fabulous.  They did a cervical check and everything is the same- nothing to worry about.  Both babies had turned feet down and they figured that's why I was having more pressure/pain in my lower regions with all those lovely kicks aiming down and at my cervix... Sometimes I stop and think about how there are four legs in my belly.  Weird.




How Far Along: 19 weeks



Size of Baby: They went from avocados to onions to sweet potatoes and now I have two MANGOES in my belly!  They are each about 6 inches long now, crown to rump. :)


Picture of Baby: I keep getting texts and emails and comments about loving the belly shots.  We're going to keep doing them weekly and I'll try to post every week or so...but I do want to say that I'm sorry for any who might not really want to see pregnant belly pics right now. I get it.  I will keep warning of it in my title!


Maternity Clothes: Loving my new Ko.hl's dresses! I think dresses will be the staple as it got up to 118 a couple days ago according to B's car.  No maternity pants for this lady- those belly bands are HOT.


Weight Gain: Oh- we're progressing rapidly now!!!  I eat anything I can get my hands on most of the time (the nausea will creep up and bite me in the ass just when I start to get comfortable in eating whatever is in front of me instead of what actually sounds good...).  I'm now at my pre-pregnancy weight!!! Oh yeah!  So that's technically gaining about 15 pounds with the hyperemesis loss.  But I need to get to 25lbs over this weight by 30 weeks at the latest if possible doc said.  That's still 11 weeks- I think I can do that with how much I'm gaining right now.


Belly: Definitely a bump. It's not huge or anything, but I like it. :) I have gotten a couple comments on how I'm "carrying small" for twins.  I think it's just that I'm 6'1" and they have a bit more room to move around before popping outward.  I'm getting a lot more comments about being pregnant now though- so I don't feel as weird about just looking chubby. ha.



Stretch Marks: Not yet. I still think the stretch mark oil I have smells too strong, so I'm just using regular lotion for now. That's gonna have to change soon. Apparently by 28 weeks I'll be the size of a full-term singleton pregnancy. That's some rapid growth over the next 9 weeks.



Sleep: B IS BACK!!!  Yep- he's back in our room!  It's been a couple weeks now but I didn't want to jinx it.  I really missed him.  I'm waking up more to pee now- at least a couple times a night.  Last night it was 3.  Sometimes I can stay in bed and keep sorta sleeping for a good 9 or 10 hours.  Sometimes, like last night, I wake up after 6 and just give up.  A couple nights ago I fell asleep at 8:45 and didn't really get up to get going until 7am.  Bless.


Best Moment of the Week: Although a bit scary- seeing the luckies again! And hearing that my cervix is still 5. Keep it up cervix! pleeease.


Movement: Yeah. Best.thing.ever.  I haven't been able to get B to feel it.  They usually go away right when I try to put my own hand on my belly let alone when B tries.  But I get lots of movement right after work :)  They like it when I stop working and lay down.


Symptoms: Nausea is (and I think will always be) still there from time to time, especially in the evenings. The mornings and early afternoons are SO much better though. I'm also wicked tired most afternoons, but I haven't been napping as much so that I can sleep better through the night. I'm also starting to get pain in my hips more and more and my tail bone really hurts when I sit down for too long. And I'm feeling like my ab muscles are stretching some now, they feel kind of sore. Um...I also still have some digestive problems, but that's more from the Zo.fran. I have adhesions all throughout my abdomen and I'll get these sharp stabbing pains sometimes, I think that might be those stretching or ripping.



Food Cravings: I heart cheddar and sour cream chips right now.  And not the baked kind. No, none of that crap around here.  Give me the full fat, super greasy, lots of orange fingers afterward kind.  Mmmm.  Sour cream and onion usually are pretty good, too.  I'm liking the Fire Roasted Tomato soup from Para.dise Bak.ery again like I used to.  I can't seem to eat large meals at night, but usually lunch is where I try to get my big calories cuz I can really take it down in the middle of the afternoon! People comment.  I've heard "Is that all for you??" one too many times recently.  I just reply that it's for three, dammit.


Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba! We joke that anytime I eat any protein (I've started getting down some almonds sometimes! Yay!) that Bubba's taking it all. Watch, he's gonna end up being lighter than she is.



What I Miss:  Walking with any sort of purpose or speed.  I feel like I'm already waddling- that's not normal. But I walk SO much slower than I used to.  I hate sweating right now so I don't want to work up any sort of sweat, ugh.  And did I mention it's flipping hot here?  And I get out of breath a little easier, nothing like it will be, I'm sure.



What I'm Looking Forward to: The big anatomy scan to make sure everything is on-track and looking healthy for our little ones!  In this last sort-of-emergency type u/s I saw a big black spot on little lady's lower abdomen.  I told myself it's her bladder.  I'm sure it is, right?  I just want everything to be good.  Anyway- that scan is next Wednesday and we get to look at our offspring for an HOUR. love.


Weekly Wisdom: Hmm... Oh I know.  Just call the F'ing doctor. If you're worried- there's no point in waiting just cuz you don't want to seem overly panicky.  I felt SO much better when they let me come in and see that all was ok. And they were super nice about it and told me that they have these type of appointments every single day.  Most pregnant women need some reassurance now and then, let alone us friggin infertile types who start thinking the absolute worst at any abnormal pain...


Milestones: HALFWAY! (is that one word?)


Emotions: Still nervous and anxious but SO excited to be living again and be able to share the pregnancy with my co-workers and friends. I definitely get teary super easily...I cry whenever B tells me I'm doing a good job. haha I seriously have to watch myself at work though- my eyes get all red and watery whenever I even think about these two little humans.  Can't be doing that around just anybody. But I think most people get it. :)