In an effort to attempt to check off a few to-do list items, I'd set up a couple appointments this week- both with daycares near our house and with a pediatrician for a "meet and greet". Today is our first daycare tour at a very well known daycare- Kin.dercare. I don't know how I feel about it yet. We also have an appointment tomorrow at Tu.tor Ti.me- also don't know how I feel about it yet. I need to set up an appointment with another one that I've read about near me that's not as Nationally known, is quite a bit cheaper, but has several locations in our state and seems pretty good. Uncertainty is the name of the game for me with daycare and I cry sometimes when I think about it. There's a big part of me that wishes I could stay home with them. That wishes I could be the one they spend their days with. When you think about it, when they get a bit older and are sleeping through the night, the majority of their waking time will be spent with "somebody else"... tears.
But I know that 1) financially that wouldn't be the best option for us. Although those Nationally known daycares are gonna cost us about $2000 per month (*gulp), I make more than that. 2) B makes the same as I do- we don't have a "primary earner" if you will- we're both pretty equal so taking one of our salaries away is cutting out half of our income which would be a big pill to swallow, especially with two more mouths to feed. And finally, 3)- there's a part of me that wants to work. I don't know how big of a part of me. It changes all the time. Some days I think that I'd give anything to just stay home (and I could if I really wanted to- we could swallow that big pill if we decided it was best, at least for a while). But then some days- I know that my personality needs work. I need to have those feelings of "success" if you will. It's hard to explain, and I know that I could still feel success at home- but recognition is a weird innate need for me. When I work really hard at a project and then get to feel the reward of success or recognition...it's important to me. Could I live without it? I'm sure I could. Would I be better off? I'm not sure. Could all of this change as soon as I see their little faces? Absolutely. Who knows how I'm going to feel. But the financial aspect remains. It isn't the "smartest" idea for me to stay home. Sigh.
So at this point I'm hoping we go to a daycare and fall in love with it. We meet the teachers, meet the staff, and just know that "this is the place". That I'll feel as close to "comfortable" with the idea of "somebody else" taking care of my kids. I hear that you get used to it, that you get very comfortable with your daycare if they're good and then they become like family. I hope.
So- the other appointment was with a pediatrician nearby. We went yesterday- they were on a list of peds that my OB gave us who work with the hospital I'll be delivering at. I called and asked sort of rookie-like how this all works with meeting the doctor and the receptionist was very nice and gave me the low down. They have 5 doctors in the practice- a lot of people come and meet each of them individually and then sort of pick their favorite to be their primary pediatrician. But if push comes to shove, and babies need a doctor when "ours" isn't available- we've got four others to see. A lot more availability for appointments. Ok- so we booked our meet and greet with one of them for last night right before office close. I came home from work early and B and I drove together. I jotted down a few questions on the way- what is their philosophy on immunization schedules, talk to me about circumcision, what would be your involvement if babies are in the NICU, do you have any recommendations for local daycares... :) We got there and they have a sick child entrance and a well child entrance- check. That's crucial. The staff seemed nice- a receptionist came out into the waiting room to drop off a brochure for us to look at while we waited. They had a TV playing a Disney movie and the walls were covered in murals- very cute, although not really on the list of must-haves, ha. They took us back and as we waited in this little room it was so surreal to me. We could be in that room with our twins getting a Well Baby checkup in just a few months. Crazy.
We waited for a while and got a little stir crazy. I have no idea now what we were laughing at, but B had me in full on tears before the doctor came in. I was actually wheezing- which had me in even more tears as B told me I sounded like an old man. I do remember the little bed in the exam room looked like a train and B noted "Why do little kids like trains so much? It's such an outdated technology..." He's gonna be an amazing Dad- I was dying laughing as he pondered the origins of childrens' obsessions with trains. "Why not Thomas the Fighter Jet?"
The doctor came in and sort of sat there staring at us for a bit. She was nice and all. Very polite. I told her this was our first "Meet and Greet" and we didn't really know how it all goes. She said it's mostly for people to see where the office is and put a face to a name. Great- so we are supposed to just leave now? "Hi- nice to meet you Dr.X. Ok, bye now." It was awkward. I decided to say I had some questions and proceeded with my drilling. I think she thought I was neurotic (which I may have been- I just didn't really know what I was doing and c'mon, help a sister out). She answered politely enough, but every response came across a little "trivial", ya know? Like- of course we use a local anesthetic for the circumcision. That's "standard practice" nowadays. I don't know lady- I've never had one! And the immunization schedule- she said "we promote immunizations". Um, I know. I figured you weren't the one pediatrician out there touting "no shots!". But when I asked about the schedule- when do they actually do them? Are many done in the hospital right away? What about immunizations for parents? She sort of seemed to chuckle and tell me that only one is done in the hospital- they get most around 2 months. And "they" don't do immunizations for parents. The hospital would offer that.
I don't blame her for coming off like that- she sees this stuff everyday all day. I'm just a rookie. I honestly don't know which side is up when it comes to a lot of this baby stuff (yes- even infertile women who do all kinds of research on GETTING pregnant often times don't know too much about actually BEING pregnant- or the madness/gloriousness thereafter with an actual real live baby or two...). Anyway- I'm glad I didn't just go to put a face to the name- I'm glad I asked the questions because it gave me an opportunity to see a little bit more about this doctor's personality. I'm not gonna know what the hell I'm doing once the babies get here either, so I want a doctor who gets that and who wants to make me feel awesome about my lack of knowledge. "Oh yeah- the babies shouldn't eat cheerios at a month old. Great question One Day! I get that all the time and you know, that whole newborn equals no solid food thing- that's a tricky one...you're doing a fantastic job!" THAT'S what I'm looking for.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
21 Weeks
How Far Along: 21w2d
Size of Baby: Currently they are the size of bananas according to the books...but we know that baby B, our Big Bubba, isn't holding to any "normals"... :)
Picture of Baby: We've got another ultrasound on Wednesday so I'll see about posting another pic then. I'll post my favorite u/s pics so far- these are from about 19 weeks (again, I HATE trying to take a picture of an u/s pic so I'm sorry so blurry):
And then here are a couple pics of my belly from MY perspective this morning (I tend to stay in my PJs as long as possible...). 21w1d:
Maternity Clothes: Ok, I bought a bunch of maternity shirts at Ko.hls and they totally shrunk the first time I washed them (in cold water and low heat in the dryer) and now you can see the belly band when I wear them. I'm a little bummed. Plus, I'm growing quite a bit more rapidly now so any shrinking of shirts means bad news. I'm loving dresses right now- but they're all starting to get a little short for work because the bump is pulling them up!
Weight Gain: I feel SOOOO much better! I'm still taking 2 Pro.tonix everyday, and doc wants me to stay on that until I deliver. But yesterday I only took 1 Zof.ran for the first time and it went well. So I'm weaning myself off slowly but surely. It's amazing how different this is now. I was in a bad, bad place there for a while with the IVs and the constant vomiting or dry heaving. UUUUGH **shutter. But, everyone was right- it's so worth it now that I'm feeling better. I am truly enjoying this...and eating like a champion. I'm up about 5-6 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (which is about a 20lb weight gain because of how much I lost) but gaining pretty quickly.
Belly: I still hear that I'm carrying "small" for twins and that's good because I can sure start to see this belly taking over soon! It's growing pretty fast.
Stretch Marks: Nope. I'm putting all kinds of stuff all over my belly, the ladies, my thighs...anything I can possibly reach at this point...to try and avoid them but I think I'll probably just need to accept it at some point. I've never had stretch marks before but I know it's genetic. I'm doomed. ;)
Sleep: I get SO tired after work (and during, let's be honest here). But I'm always waking up early now. I woke up at 5am yesterday and again this morning...on a Saturday. Boo. I want to get some sleeping in before the babies get here because it's all over after that. I have been going to bed much earlier though- I just can't keep my eyes open past 10pm (if I make it to that point- I've fallen asleep at 9pm the last couple of nights). I'm waking up twice a night for a trip to the (gorgeously remodeled and lovely) bathroom. (Thanks B!!!!)
Best Moment of the Week: We had a pretty fun little kicking show last night that I loved. I seriously can't get enough of their movement- they're so active! Last night they were going like crazy when we were watching "Groundhog Day" on tv...but they'd get even more active whenever any music would come on! Oh- I also found out yesterday that my boss is giving B and I a bunch of her baby stuff! So on Monday we'll be getting a swing, a bouncy, a bumbo chair, and some more stuff! PLUS- we sold the guest bedroom furniture that was in the nursery so I love seeing that empty and ready for cribs!
Movement: See above- but this is the best part of the pregnancy absolutely!
Symptoms: I'm starting to get a little bit of swelling. Yikes! When I wake up in the morning it seems to either be the worst or I'm just paying attention to it the most. I've taken off my wedding ring and engagement ring- I have the wedding band hanging on my necklace. I've replaced it with my college letterman's ring cuz I hate not wearing a ring on that finger now... I still get a bit nauseous from time to time but NOTHING like before. I mean, seriously- this is cake now in the nausea department. The belly hurts some from time to time- I get cramps every other day or so that are uncomfortable. My low back is starting to hurt a little sometimes too- but not all the time. B will give me a little back rub when I need it- thanks again B!! And I'm starting to see a little bit of improvement with the slow digestive issues now that I'm weaning even more off the Zo.fran. We'll see how that goes (cuz I suck at taking Mira.lax and I hate it).
Food Cravings: Ok, guilty confession #1- the last two nights in a row I've gone to Arby's to get a cherry turnover cuz I wanted one OH so badly (I hadn't had one in probably a year before I got pregnant but they're so delish)...but both times I came up short! How awful! Each time, they told me when I got there that they had "just" run out of cherry. :( So B told the guy at the window last night that I'm pregnant and psychotic and REALLY needed that cherry turnover- so the guy said he was closing tonight and that if I came back he'd have one saved for me. I'll be there. No question. (Oh- and of course I didn't leave empty handed. On Thursday I got a chocolate turnover, which wasn't as good, but last night I had an apple turnover that was completely satisfactory...and I also got an oreo shake...and two roast beef sandwiches...um...)
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba!
What I Miss: I still miss walking at any sort of respectable pace. I have to tell B to slow down- I can't keep up. And the getting out of chairs is getting worse- I have to heave myself out of them, it's like my legs don't work anymore.
What I'm Looking Forward to: Baby Shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly didn't know if this would ever happen for us- I can't say that enough. I can't believe it's real.
Weekly Wisdom: To-Do lists are so, so important. 1) I can't remember anything anymore so having it all written on the list is crucial or I'd forget everything I needed to do and 2) there's a TON to do before the babies get here... I have to stay organized. Oh, also- B and I had a really important discussion last night that I think is crucial for any soon-to-be working parents. I came home a bit late from work last night and B started projecting his worries into the future about how he comes home on time and I tend to stay late far more often...so he's worried that he'll be waiting at home for me with both babies while I'm working away. We talked about supporting eachother through the ebbs and flows of each of our careers. We talked about sacrifices and how I've sacrificed a lot because of the pregnancy, but he has as well and we want to maintain equality with our careers- we both have a lot of potential but we both also know what our number one priority is: this family. There will be times when his career will take him away from the family more and I'll need to step up and make more sacrifices as far as work goes and vice versa. Neither one of us will WANT to be away, but it's going to have to happen from time to time- be it travelling for a week at a time or working on big projects that require more hours in certain months, etc. That support of one another and open communication are going to be cornerstone for us. It won't be an easy balance to strike- but we'll find it with a little practice. It just takes time. I trust in us, 100%. Love that man.
Milestones: Hmmm...I don't think I've reached anymore big milestones since the 20 week mark. Next up is viability at 24 weeks. I had a horrible dream last night that the babies had to be born at 23 weeks...it was so vivid and so real- I hate those pregnancy paranoia dreams.
Emotions: I'm in a really wonderful place right now. I look back at the first half of this pregnancy and I can say that it was friggin awful. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do physically- but these two amazing lives inside of me are so worth it. I survived- they thrived. That's what matters. (Not that I want to do that again...) But right now I'm doing really well. I'm slow, I'm sluggish, I'm already feeling like a whale even though I'm nowhere NEAR where I will be...but I'm loving knowing that I'm growing our offspring right now. I love feeling them move. I get so much joy out of talking about them and planning for them. Albeit a little scared for the massive changes about to come and the ridiculously difficult times we have ahead with two newborns/infants/toddlers/teenagers...all of it. But I'm feeling less and less paranoid about whether this pregnancy will actually make it and I'm feeling like I can actually just enjoy it. How amazingly lucky and blessed are we? I mean, honestly. We are so truly blessed. I couldn't be more grateful.
Size of Baby: Currently they are the size of bananas according to the books...but we know that baby B, our Big Bubba, isn't holding to any "normals"... :)
Picture of Baby: We've got another ultrasound on Wednesday so I'll see about posting another pic then. I'll post my favorite u/s pics so far- these are from about 19 weeks (again, I HATE trying to take a picture of an u/s pic so I'm sorry so blurry):
 |
| Little Lady sittin' pretty |
 |
| Big Bubba kinda stretching out his legs upwards |
And then here are a couple pics of my belly from MY perspective this morning (I tend to stay in my PJs as long as possible...). 21w1d:
 |
| The beast...she's got a long way to go though |
 |
| I'm actually bending over to see my swollen sausage toes (un-pedicured unfortunately) |
Maternity Clothes: Ok, I bought a bunch of maternity shirts at Ko.hls and they totally shrunk the first time I washed them (in cold water and low heat in the dryer) and now you can see the belly band when I wear them. I'm a little bummed. Plus, I'm growing quite a bit more rapidly now so any shrinking of shirts means bad news. I'm loving dresses right now- but they're all starting to get a little short for work because the bump is pulling them up!
Weight Gain: I feel SOOOO much better! I'm still taking 2 Pro.tonix everyday, and doc wants me to stay on that until I deliver. But yesterday I only took 1 Zof.ran for the first time and it went well. So I'm weaning myself off slowly but surely. It's amazing how different this is now. I was in a bad, bad place there for a while with the IVs and the constant vomiting or dry heaving. UUUUGH **shutter. But, everyone was right- it's so worth it now that I'm feeling better. I am truly enjoying this...and eating like a champion. I'm up about 5-6 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (which is about a 20lb weight gain because of how much I lost) but gaining pretty quickly.
Belly: I still hear that I'm carrying "small" for twins and that's good because I can sure start to see this belly taking over soon! It's growing pretty fast.
Stretch Marks: Nope. I'm putting all kinds of stuff all over my belly, the ladies, my thighs...anything I can possibly reach at this point...to try and avoid them but I think I'll probably just need to accept it at some point. I've never had stretch marks before but I know it's genetic. I'm doomed. ;)
Sleep: I get SO tired after work (and during, let's be honest here). But I'm always waking up early now. I woke up at 5am yesterday and again this morning...on a Saturday. Boo. I want to get some sleeping in before the babies get here because it's all over after that. I have been going to bed much earlier though- I just can't keep my eyes open past 10pm (if I make it to that point- I've fallen asleep at 9pm the last couple of nights). I'm waking up twice a night for a trip to the (gorgeously remodeled and lovely) bathroom. (Thanks B!!!!)
Best Moment of the Week: We had a pretty fun little kicking show last night that I loved. I seriously can't get enough of their movement- they're so active! Last night they were going like crazy when we were watching "Groundhog Day" on tv...but they'd get even more active whenever any music would come on! Oh- I also found out yesterday that my boss is giving B and I a bunch of her baby stuff! So on Monday we'll be getting a swing, a bouncy, a bumbo chair, and some more stuff! PLUS- we sold the guest bedroom furniture that was in the nursery so I love seeing that empty and ready for cribs!
Movement: See above- but this is the best part of the pregnancy absolutely!
Symptoms: I'm starting to get a little bit of swelling. Yikes! When I wake up in the morning it seems to either be the worst or I'm just paying attention to it the most. I've taken off my wedding ring and engagement ring- I have the wedding band hanging on my necklace. I've replaced it with my college letterman's ring cuz I hate not wearing a ring on that finger now... I still get a bit nauseous from time to time but NOTHING like before. I mean, seriously- this is cake now in the nausea department. The belly hurts some from time to time- I get cramps every other day or so that are uncomfortable. My low back is starting to hurt a little sometimes too- but not all the time. B will give me a little back rub when I need it- thanks again B!! And I'm starting to see a little bit of improvement with the slow digestive issues now that I'm weaning even more off the Zo.fran. We'll see how that goes (cuz I suck at taking Mira.lax and I hate it).
Food Cravings: Ok, guilty confession #1- the last two nights in a row I've gone to Arby's to get a cherry turnover cuz I wanted one OH so badly (I hadn't had one in probably a year before I got pregnant but they're so delish)...but both times I came up short! How awful! Each time, they told me when I got there that they had "just" run out of cherry. :( So B told the guy at the window last night that I'm pregnant and psychotic and REALLY needed that cherry turnover- so the guy said he was closing tonight and that if I came back he'd have one saved for me. I'll be there. No question. (Oh- and of course I didn't leave empty handed. On Thursday I got a chocolate turnover, which wasn't as good, but last night I had an apple turnover that was completely satisfactory...and I also got an oreo shake...and two roast beef sandwiches...um...)
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba!
What I Miss: I still miss walking at any sort of respectable pace. I have to tell B to slow down- I can't keep up. And the getting out of chairs is getting worse- I have to heave myself out of them, it's like my legs don't work anymore.
What I'm Looking Forward to: Baby Shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly didn't know if this would ever happen for us- I can't say that enough. I can't believe it's real.
Weekly Wisdom: To-Do lists are so, so important. 1) I can't remember anything anymore so having it all written on the list is crucial or I'd forget everything I needed to do and 2) there's a TON to do before the babies get here... I have to stay organized. Oh, also- B and I had a really important discussion last night that I think is crucial for any soon-to-be working parents. I came home a bit late from work last night and B started projecting his worries into the future about how he comes home on time and I tend to stay late far more often...so he's worried that he'll be waiting at home for me with both babies while I'm working away. We talked about supporting eachother through the ebbs and flows of each of our careers. We talked about sacrifices and how I've sacrificed a lot because of the pregnancy, but he has as well and we want to maintain equality with our careers- we both have a lot of potential but we both also know what our number one priority is: this family. There will be times when his career will take him away from the family more and I'll need to step up and make more sacrifices as far as work goes and vice versa. Neither one of us will WANT to be away, but it's going to have to happen from time to time- be it travelling for a week at a time or working on big projects that require more hours in certain months, etc. That support of one another and open communication are going to be cornerstone for us. It won't be an easy balance to strike- but we'll find it with a little practice. It just takes time. I trust in us, 100%. Love that man.
Milestones: Hmmm...I don't think I've reached anymore big milestones since the 20 week mark. Next up is viability at 24 weeks. I had a horrible dream last night that the babies had to be born at 23 weeks...it was so vivid and so real- I hate those pregnancy paranoia dreams.
Emotions: I'm in a really wonderful place right now. I look back at the first half of this pregnancy and I can say that it was friggin awful. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do physically- but these two amazing lives inside of me are so worth it. I survived- they thrived. That's what matters. (Not that I want to do that again...) But right now I'm doing really well. I'm slow, I'm sluggish, I'm already feeling like a whale even though I'm nowhere NEAR where I will be...but I'm loving knowing that I'm growing our offspring right now. I love feeling them move. I get so much joy out of talking about them and planning for them. Albeit a little scared for the massive changes about to come and the ridiculously difficult times we have ahead with two newborns/infants/toddlers/teenagers...all of it. But I'm feeling less and less paranoid about whether this pregnancy will actually make it and I'm feeling like I can actually just enjoy it. How amazingly lucky and blessed are we? I mean, honestly. We are so truly blessed. I couldn't be more grateful.
Friday, July 8, 2011
20 weeks, 1 day! Growing, growing, growing... (pics)
Expansion is the name of the game right now. I've hit some sort of turning point and babies are making themselves far more known nowadays (with lots of movement- yay!- and by increasing this belly size!). Went to the doctor for our 20 week anatomy scan on Wednesday and I had gained 6 pounds from our last appointment about 2.5 weeks prior! So I'm now OVER my pre-pregnancy weight by a good few pounds :) She brought up the fact that, honestly, they'd like to see twin mamas be up 20lbs by 20 weeks...and I had that whole deficit thing, so keep eating!
I asked about my "nutritional intake" and my worries that continuing to eat what sounds good all the time might not be healthiest for the offspring. She disagreed for right now. She told me to keep eating whatever, just get some good nutrition in, too. I am doing that- I'll eat some fruit, veggies, and protein everyday (on top of lots and lots of carbs, junk food, and anything that sounds remotely good in the moment like french fries...). We've held off on the gestational diabetes test because my nausea was so bad that she felt like I'd puke up that orange drink anyway so there'd be no point. Now that I'm 20 weeks, we're just going to do it at the normal time of 24 weeks (even though I've had some tests before this pregnancy come back with hypoglycemic numbers and sky rocketed blood sugar numbers...not good).
The anatomy scan went FABULOUSLY! I can't tell you how nervous I've been that we'd get news of scary things or that their growth would be delayed or...well the list honestly goes on far longer than I want to admit to. But we got in there and they were kicking away, looking beautiful as always, and measuring amazingly. It was quite the experience- an hour of looking at our children...these tiny little lives who will take over every piece of our lives in just a few months...these little babies who will become kids, running and screaming and driving us crazy...these tiny things that will be our teenagers, our growing family- we'll watch them learn, succeed, make mistakes...change the world (at least to me). They're just little luckies now, tiny little versions of humans...but - they're going to be us.
I love looking at them. And ours are pretty fun to look at. During the hour long anatomy scan, each baby flipped over TWICE making it pretty difficult for the tech to figure out what the heck was going on from time to time (and she's a good tech). They're wicked active- she, of course, had to note that they're going to keep us on our toes as they start moving (in opposite directions I'm sure).
They measured their heads, abdomens, and legs. They checked for all of the important 20 week scan pieces- cerebellum, heart ventricles, kidneys, stomachs...everything was present and accounted for, and looking healthy (times two)!
And then, my favorite part- they did the calculation for our little luckies' sizes. I've been worried that with the hyperemesis and my lack of any nutrition in the first 15 weeks of their lives was going to come into play here. Well, I should have known better. These are my children- they can gain weight with the best of them ;) Little Lady is measuring right on track, maybe a couple days ahead (around 20w1d when we were 19w6d). She weighs about 12 ounces!! Big Bubba on the other hand felt it necessary to live up to his deemed nickname (do we know our fetuses or what?). He is already measuring almost two weeks ahead and weighs just under 1lb!!!! 15 and a half ounces! Go Big Bubba! I smell college scholarships...basketball? hmm (Not that I'm not already thinking of Little Lady and her future mad skills- B is 6'5", I'm 6'1"- I doubt she's gonna be "petite" per say. We'll see what she does with those long legs!!) :) I promise I won't be a scary team mom who pushes her kids too hard so that they hate the sport (or stage or whatever it is that they want to do). My parents were awesome about that- pushing me just hard enough so that I knew I had their support and I knew I couldn't just quit because I felt like it one day, but they never pushed me to the point that I felt overwhelmed or tapped out. They're the reason I did what I did with swimming. Hands down. Love them.
Alright- now for some (disappointingly blurry and frustrating) photos!
Unfortunately they only got two photos of Big Bubba, he was moving around so much it was hard to get anything. We got a very blurry picture of sort of his profile and then a money shot of his bubba bits- but I figured one of those on the interwebs was good enough. You're welcome Bubba- but you still will always be known as the boy with the hot dog!
I started getting quite a bit more "uncomfortable" in my own skin this past week. More stretching, more back aches, and my tail bone feels like it's broken if I sit down for too long. I have to sort of ease myself out of chairs...which is awesome after a meeting at work. I try to kind of hang back so most people have left the room before they see me grunt my way out of a chair- and I'm only 20 weeks!!! I was telling B a couple days ago that I'm actually sort of afraid of what this is gonna feel like in 16 weeks (cuz we're making it to 36 weeks damnit). I don't want to think too much about the BOAT I'm gonna look/feel like. But every day I keep them in there is 3 days less in the NICU. If we make it past 35 weeks, there's a good chance they will come home with us! We're likely going to schedule a c-section for 37 weeks which will be right around 11/3/11. We'll actually have to pick the exact date soon- any suggestions? Do you like 11/3? Is 11/2/11 better or should we go with the good ol' 11/1/11 (my only qualm is that it's the day after Halloween and I'm not sure if they'll like that or not like that... thoughts? Doc might want us to go 37 weeks or later rather than earlier so it might have to be 11/3 or 11/4... (Not that I really think we're definitely gonna make it to that date- but doc said there's about a 50% rate that twin mamas make it to their scheduled c-section date). If both babies are head down at that time, we'll try for a vaginal birth. But if Bubba (the one who will come out last) is breech, we're not gonna do it. We'll go for the c-section to avoid any added risk.
Ok, lots of updates today. I hope everyone is doing well!
I asked about my "nutritional intake" and my worries that continuing to eat what sounds good all the time might not be healthiest for the offspring. She disagreed for right now. She told me to keep eating whatever, just get some good nutrition in, too. I am doing that- I'll eat some fruit, veggies, and protein everyday (on top of lots and lots of carbs, junk food, and anything that sounds remotely good in the moment like french fries...). We've held off on the gestational diabetes test because my nausea was so bad that she felt like I'd puke up that orange drink anyway so there'd be no point. Now that I'm 20 weeks, we're just going to do it at the normal time of 24 weeks (even though I've had some tests before this pregnancy come back with hypoglycemic numbers and sky rocketed blood sugar numbers...not good).
The anatomy scan went FABULOUSLY! I can't tell you how nervous I've been that we'd get news of scary things or that their growth would be delayed or...well the list honestly goes on far longer than I want to admit to. But we got in there and they were kicking away, looking beautiful as always, and measuring amazingly. It was quite the experience- an hour of looking at our children...these tiny little lives who will take over every piece of our lives in just a few months...these little babies who will become kids, running and screaming and driving us crazy...these tiny things that will be our teenagers, our growing family- we'll watch them learn, succeed, make mistakes...change the world (at least to me). They're just little luckies now, tiny little versions of humans...but - they're going to be us.
I love looking at them. And ours are pretty fun to look at. During the hour long anatomy scan, each baby flipped over TWICE making it pretty difficult for the tech to figure out what the heck was going on from time to time (and she's a good tech). They're wicked active- she, of course, had to note that they're going to keep us on our toes as they start moving (in opposite directions I'm sure).
They measured their heads, abdomens, and legs. They checked for all of the important 20 week scan pieces- cerebellum, heart ventricles, kidneys, stomachs...everything was present and accounted for, and looking healthy (times two)!
And then, my favorite part- they did the calculation for our little luckies' sizes. I've been worried that with the hyperemesis and my lack of any nutrition in the first 15 weeks of their lives was going to come into play here. Well, I should have known better. These are my children- they can gain weight with the best of them ;) Little Lady is measuring right on track, maybe a couple days ahead (around 20w1d when we were 19w6d). She weighs about 12 ounces!! Big Bubba on the other hand felt it necessary to live up to his deemed nickname (do we know our fetuses or what?). He is already measuring almost two weeks ahead and weighs just under 1lb!!!! 15 and a half ounces! Go Big Bubba! I smell college scholarships...basketball? hmm (Not that I'm not already thinking of Little Lady and her future mad skills- B is 6'5", I'm 6'1"- I doubt she's gonna be "petite" per say. We'll see what she does with those long legs!!) :) I promise I won't be a scary team mom who pushes her kids too hard so that they hate the sport (or stage or whatever it is that they want to do). My parents were awesome about that- pushing me just hard enough so that I knew I had their support and I knew I couldn't just quit because I felt like it one day, but they never pushed me to the point that I felt overwhelmed or tapped out. They're the reason I did what I did with swimming. Hands down. Love them.
Alright- now for some (disappointingly blurry and frustrating) photos!
 |
| Here's what's going on on the outside. This was 19w3d, so almost a week ago. (Sorry about the messy bathroom- B actually did a bit of a remodel on it this last weekend!!! Yay for new sink faucets!) |
 |
| Little Lady (Twin A) 19w6d Can you see her little lips? So cute! |
 |
| Little Lady's hand! |
 |
| Little Lady's foot :) She's gonna have long monkey toes like her mama (I wear a size 12 in women's, yikes. Sorry little lady) |
I started getting quite a bit more "uncomfortable" in my own skin this past week. More stretching, more back aches, and my tail bone feels like it's broken if I sit down for too long. I have to sort of ease myself out of chairs...which is awesome after a meeting at work. I try to kind of hang back so most people have left the room before they see me grunt my way out of a chair- and I'm only 20 weeks!!! I was telling B a couple days ago that I'm actually sort of afraid of what this is gonna feel like in 16 weeks (cuz we're making it to 36 weeks damnit). I don't want to think too much about the BOAT I'm gonna look/feel like. But every day I keep them in there is 3 days less in the NICU. If we make it past 35 weeks, there's a good chance they will come home with us! We're likely going to schedule a c-section for 37 weeks which will be right around 11/3/11. We'll actually have to pick the exact date soon- any suggestions? Do you like 11/3? Is 11/2/11 better or should we go with the good ol' 11/1/11 (my only qualm is that it's the day after Halloween and I'm not sure if they'll like that or not like that... thoughts? Doc might want us to go 37 weeks or later rather than earlier so it might have to be 11/3 or 11/4... (Not that I really think we're definitely gonna make it to that date- but doc said there's about a 50% rate that twin mamas make it to their scheduled c-section date). If both babies are head down at that time, we'll try for a vaginal birth. But if Bubba (the one who will come out last) is breech, we're not gonna do it. We'll go for the c-section to avoid any added risk.
Ok, lots of updates today. I hope everyone is doing well!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
To-Do
B is a spreadsheet guy. Now, I need to qualify this by saying that B is a closet spreadsheet guy and I really knew nothing of his spreadsheet needs until about a year into our relationship. When you first look at the guy, you might think "workout guy". I think this is a reputation B's not too disappointed with. The man is 6'5", 230 pounds of muscle and every single morning he wakes up and has a "protein shake" that consists of protein powder, milk, raw oatmeal and two.raw.eggs! all shaken together and taken down in about 10 seconds (don't ask).
But the spreadsheet side to B is an intense near-addiction side that I've grown to love oh so dearly. I started noticing his anxiety grow steadily when it had been 13, 14, 15 weeks into this pregnancy and I couldn't take care of myself let alone anything around the house. B was keeping this place afloat solo style and I started to see him processing the "how much more of this could I take let alone all of the things we need to get done before the babies get here" thoughts around the 15 week timeframe quite a bit more. He would drop a couple hints about "to-do lists" here and there. This was B's subtle way of saying "oh dear lord I need a spreadsheet to keep my sanity".
I embrace B's spreadsheets. He loves them. I am the disorganized person in this marriage. I'm the messy one. The one who wouldn't mind leaving dishes in the sink for days on end or dirty clothes next to the bed cuz I'm too tired to bend over and pick them up after a day at work. Not supposed to be that way? I defy your rules!
Nonetheless, B's happiness truly is important to me. Even though I do, often, leave my clothes on the floor or my dishes in the sink, I know that's not cool for him and I'm working on it. But I've got to say, it's been a little harder than I thought it would be to go from doing absolutely nothing around the house because I couldn't a) stand the smell of anything and b) go more than 15 seconds standing up without feeling like I was going to yack/faint to now feeling better and wanting to help around the house but at the same time feeling like a rapidly growing elephant whilst working full-time...
I think you can all see where I'm going here. I'm not helping much around the house still. At all. I suck. BUT- in order to at least attempt to show B how much he means to me and how much I want to help...I made a spreadsheet! It's pretty, and functional, and has things like checkmarks and color coding! ...but not too much color coding cuz then we'd be embarking on my own ideals of spreadsheets and not B's way of working them. :)
So I put together our "Before Babies To Do List" along with separate tabs for "Child Care" options that I've looked into, "Prenatal Classes" that I want to/have already signed up for with dates/times and "Dr Appts" that we have upcoming with the date, time, and reason for visit!!! BAAAAAAH! I'm amazing. Honestly. I'm at a whole new level here- your jealousy is palpable.
Now, just the spreadsheet in and of itself is glorious and beautiful and all that...but the most important and thrilling part is that I've created "Flagholders" and completion dates(goals). Flagholders? you might ask. Well, I find this is only a term that my company's department's management team uses on an hourly basis- apparently it's not a commonly used word. I shall elaborate. Throwing out to-do items is one thing. Anyone can do that. But without proper Flagholders to man said items, it's all fluff. B questioned part of this philosophy- recognizing that we both need to be a part of pretty much everything on this to-do list. But being a part of the item does not make one the Flagholder. Each item needs leadership. They each need a dictatorial guide (that's not a real term, I'm just that awesome and egotistical) in order to direct the item to its ultimate success. Take "choosing child care". Now, there's no way in hell I'd take this one on by myself. B wouldn't like that anyway. But someone needs to lead the charge- set up the appointments/make the phone calls/whatnot. Someone needs to decide when it's truly completed and come to the "we've made up our minds and we're going to stick with it" finale. "WE'VE made up OUR minds" being crucial terms here- the flagholder doesn't always have total final say, just leadership responsibilities.
:) I make myself happy.
Ok, so here are the three items we have officially checked off our to-do list (which at this point consists of 28 items- 3 of which can be done after the babies are born in the first several months- probably by hired help...but it grew by two items yesterday and I'm guessing will continue to do so on a daily basis...):
Baby Registry - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 18 weeks
Register at Hospital - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 19 weeks
Carbon Monoxide Detector - Flagholder: B - Completion Goal: 34 weeks (he's an overachiever)
We finished our registries yesterday online so I was a little late on that. We registered for EVERYTHING that we might want though, including the stuff that we will want to buy ourselves (cribs, stroller, the big stuff) and not get as gifts because both places we registered (Bab.ies R Us and Buy Buy Ba.by) have discounts when you complete your registry so why not put the stuff on the registry and then get the discount when you purchase?? So that's also been great because its a running list of all the stuff we need to purchase too!
I registered online at the hospital yesterday as well and then we went to the hospital to see if we could sneak in an off-hours tour which, no, we couldn't. BUT, I called ahead to see if we could see the NICU and they were super sweet and said to come on down at 3:00. It was an incredibly overwhelming experience that honestly needs its own blog post to come later but I'm SO glad that we did that. I hope to God that we don't have to spend much time there (no time would be great) but I feel much better about it than I did before and it helped soothe some of those very loud fears I've had...
Finally, B purchased a carbon monoxide detector online a few days ago and he got it on Friday, set it up, and I feel much better now. Thanks B!!
So we're trucking right along! I have a list of three different daycares right around here that I want to call and go check out before 20 weeks, that's the goal (F that's in 4 days). Hopefully I'll really love one of those or else we've already looked into some other options like nannies and such...that's, again, a whole other blog post. Oy.
OH! And I've signed us up for a three day, three hours per day, Birthing and Breathing Class at the hospital which starts in about a month. I know, I know, we're probably going to have a c-section. But I want to be prepared in case there's a chance that I'll get to do a vaginal birth. I'm still being realistic though. I know.
I'm going to sign up for a Breastfeeding class, an Infant CPR class, and B wants to do the "New Dad Bootcamp" class at the hospital too!!! Yay! Those will be probably late August, early September. Doc said to get all this stuff done before 28 weeks. Not a whole lotta time left.
So all in all, I'm feeling like a rockstar which hasn't happened much since I got the beautiful news that I got knocked up at the ol' fertility clinic...
One more aside that I've been thinking about quite a bit but haven't really said for some reason. I know my blog url is "wishingfortwins" and I thought that was cute and playful when we were starting out our IVF journey and I decided to create a blog for it but now that we're actually growing twin humans...I feel kinda weird about it. I don't know why I didn't really realize this before, but it kinda sounds like I'm one of those people that just really really really wanted twins and would go to google and search things like "how to make twins happen". Those people are a little creepy to me. I just want to put this out there that I was, in no way, one of those people. I simply chose the url because IVF has a higher twin rate than say, hooking up with your hubby and seeing what happens. Plus, don't know if anyone out there knows this but IVF is super expensive and the whole two-for-one thing works out financially in a positive way. But mostly, we were expecting to put two embryos into my uterus when we did IVF. Thus, I was really hoping both would stick cuz those embryos are really like my children and "not sticking" isn't really something I like to think about when you get down to the details of it. We got very lucky that both embryos were able to hold on this time around with IVF because I was attached to both embryos from the first moment they brought in that beautiful picture. But twin pregnancies aren't always "lucky" if you will, and there's lots of complications that can accompany... anyway. I just don't want anyone thinking that's what I was all about.
Ok- this was another one of One Day's epic novelistic blog posts. Thanks for hanging in there if you did! :)
But the spreadsheet side to B is an intense near-addiction side that I've grown to love oh so dearly. I started noticing his anxiety grow steadily when it had been 13, 14, 15 weeks into this pregnancy and I couldn't take care of myself let alone anything around the house. B was keeping this place afloat solo style and I started to see him processing the "how much more of this could I take let alone all of the things we need to get done before the babies get here" thoughts around the 15 week timeframe quite a bit more. He would drop a couple hints about "to-do lists" here and there. This was B's subtle way of saying "oh dear lord I need a spreadsheet to keep my sanity".
I embrace B's spreadsheets. He loves them. I am the disorganized person in this marriage. I'm the messy one. The one who wouldn't mind leaving dishes in the sink for days on end or dirty clothes next to the bed cuz I'm too tired to bend over and pick them up after a day at work. Not supposed to be that way? I defy your rules!
Nonetheless, B's happiness truly is important to me. Even though I do, often, leave my clothes on the floor or my dishes in the sink, I know that's not cool for him and I'm working on it. But I've got to say, it's been a little harder than I thought it would be to go from doing absolutely nothing around the house because I couldn't a) stand the smell of anything and b) go more than 15 seconds standing up without feeling like I was going to yack/faint to now feeling better and wanting to help around the house but at the same time feeling like a rapidly growing elephant whilst working full-time...
I think you can all see where I'm going here. I'm not helping much around the house still. At all. I suck. BUT- in order to at least attempt to show B how much he means to me and how much I want to help...I made a spreadsheet! It's pretty, and functional, and has things like checkmarks and color coding! ...but not too much color coding cuz then we'd be embarking on my own ideals of spreadsheets and not B's way of working them. :)
So I put together our "Before Babies To Do List" along with separate tabs for "Child Care" options that I've looked into, "Prenatal Classes" that I want to/have already signed up for with dates/times and "Dr Appts" that we have upcoming with the date, time, and reason for visit!!! BAAAAAAH! I'm amazing. Honestly. I'm at a whole new level here- your jealousy is palpable.
Now, just the spreadsheet in and of itself is glorious and beautiful and all that...but the most important and thrilling part is that I've created "Flagholders" and completion dates(goals). Flagholders? you might ask. Well, I find this is only a term that my company's department's management team uses on an hourly basis- apparently it's not a commonly used word. I shall elaborate. Throwing out to-do items is one thing. Anyone can do that. But without proper Flagholders to man said items, it's all fluff. B questioned part of this philosophy- recognizing that we both need to be a part of pretty much everything on this to-do list. But being a part of the item does not make one the Flagholder. Each item needs leadership. They each need a dictatorial guide (that's not a real term, I'm just that awesome and egotistical) in order to direct the item to its ultimate success. Take "choosing child care". Now, there's no way in hell I'd take this one on by myself. B wouldn't like that anyway. But someone needs to lead the charge- set up the appointments/make the phone calls/whatnot. Someone needs to decide when it's truly completed and come to the "we've made up our minds and we're going to stick with it" finale. "WE'VE made up OUR minds" being crucial terms here- the flagholder doesn't always have total final say, just leadership responsibilities.
:) I make myself happy.
Ok, so here are the three items we have officially checked off our to-do list (which at this point consists of 28 items- 3 of which can be done after the babies are born in the first several months- probably by hired help...but it grew by two items yesterday and I'm guessing will continue to do so on a daily basis...):
Baby Registry - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 18 weeks
Register at Hospital - Flagholder: One Day - Completion Goal: 19 weeks
Carbon Monoxide Detector - Flagholder: B - Completion Goal: 34 weeks (he's an overachiever)
We finished our registries yesterday online so I was a little late on that. We registered for EVERYTHING that we might want though, including the stuff that we will want to buy ourselves (cribs, stroller, the big stuff) and not get as gifts because both places we registered (Bab.ies R Us and Buy Buy Ba.by) have discounts when you complete your registry so why not put the stuff on the registry and then get the discount when you purchase?? So that's also been great because its a running list of all the stuff we need to purchase too!
I registered online at the hospital yesterday as well and then we went to the hospital to see if we could sneak in an off-hours tour which, no, we couldn't. BUT, I called ahead to see if we could see the NICU and they were super sweet and said to come on down at 3:00. It was an incredibly overwhelming experience that honestly needs its own blog post to come later but I'm SO glad that we did that. I hope to God that we don't have to spend much time there (no time would be great) but I feel much better about it than I did before and it helped soothe some of those very loud fears I've had...
Finally, B purchased a carbon monoxide detector online a few days ago and he got it on Friday, set it up, and I feel much better now. Thanks B!!
So we're trucking right along! I have a list of three different daycares right around here that I want to call and go check out before 20 weeks, that's the goal (F that's in 4 days). Hopefully I'll really love one of those or else we've already looked into some other options like nannies and such...that's, again, a whole other blog post. Oy.
OH! And I've signed us up for a three day, three hours per day, Birthing and Breathing Class at the hospital which starts in about a month. I know, I know, we're probably going to have a c-section. But I want to be prepared in case there's a chance that I'll get to do a vaginal birth. I'm still being realistic though. I know.
I'm going to sign up for a Breastfeeding class, an Infant CPR class, and B wants to do the "New Dad Bootcamp" class at the hospital too!!! Yay! Those will be probably late August, early September. Doc said to get all this stuff done before 28 weeks. Not a whole lotta time left.
So all in all, I'm feeling like a rockstar which hasn't happened much since I got the beautiful news that I got knocked up at the ol' fertility clinic...
One more aside that I've been thinking about quite a bit but haven't really said for some reason. I know my blog url is "wishingfortwins" and I thought that was cute and playful when we were starting out our IVF journey and I decided to create a blog for it but now that we're actually growing twin humans...I feel kinda weird about it. I don't know why I didn't really realize this before, but it kinda sounds like I'm one of those people that just really really really wanted twins and would go to google and search things like "how to make twins happen". Those people are a little creepy to me. I just want to put this out there that I was, in no way, one of those people. I simply chose the url because IVF has a higher twin rate than say, hooking up with your hubby and seeing what happens. Plus, don't know if anyone out there knows this but IVF is super expensive and the whole two-for-one thing works out financially in a positive way. But mostly, we were expecting to put two embryos into my uterus when we did IVF. Thus, I was really hoping both would stick cuz those embryos are really like my children and "not sticking" isn't really something I like to think about when you get down to the details of it. We got very lucky that both embryos were able to hold on this time around with IVF because I was attached to both embryos from the first moment they brought in that beautiful picture. But twin pregnancies aren't always "lucky" if you will, and there's lots of complications that can accompany... anyway. I just don't want anyone thinking that's what I was all about.
Ok- this was another one of One Day's epic novelistic blog posts. Thanks for hanging in there if you did! :)
Friday, July 1, 2011
"Babies!"
I just had to post this morning because we had a big moment last night! B got to feel the babies for the first time!!!
I was actually talking to a co-worker yesterday about how he hadn't felt them yet because everytime they would move it would be quick and I couldn't even get my hand there in time, let alone B's. But last night, as I was snoogling with my snoo.gle after work and B was reading in bed next to me cuz he's just so nice to chill with me when I need my after-work break... I started feeling the baby flutters. Same as always, I didn't really do much about them. But then a few more right after. And then one big kick that I could for SURE feel on the outside! I sprinted to grab B's hand and throw it on my belly. But, of course, nothing. We sat there for probably 5 minutes with nothing but sweat forming because it was getting too hot to have a hand on my belly for that long (did I mention the 118?? and we turn our A/C to hotter during the day so it's not billions of dollars every month... and then it takes a while to get back into the high 70's in our house). I finally looked at B with a big sad face and asked if he could feel anything. He kind of frowned back and said no- I told you it was too early to feel it on the out...WAIT. We both kind of paused. I felt it, but I wasn't sure if B had. Silence. Then I felt it again, and I kind of jumped. And then B just says "Babies!"
It was the friggin coolest thing ever. Because then whoever it was, A or B, who was giving us this little show just kept going. It was the most kicking I've felt in a row yet. And they did it for Daddy! He kept his hand on my belly for a long time and everytime we'd feel another kick we'd both smile and look at eachother again.
Best part of the pregnancy yet. Hands down.
Love.
I was actually talking to a co-worker yesterday about how he hadn't felt them yet because everytime they would move it would be quick and I couldn't even get my hand there in time, let alone B's. But last night, as I was snoogling with my snoo.gle after work and B was reading in bed next to me cuz he's just so nice to chill with me when I need my after-work break... I started feeling the baby flutters. Same as always, I didn't really do much about them. But then a few more right after. And then one big kick that I could for SURE feel on the outside! I sprinted to grab B's hand and throw it on my belly. But, of course, nothing. We sat there for probably 5 minutes with nothing but sweat forming because it was getting too hot to have a hand on my belly for that long (did I mention the 118?? and we turn our A/C to hotter during the day so it's not billions of dollars every month... and then it takes a while to get back into the high 70's in our house). I finally looked at B with a big sad face and asked if he could feel anything. He kind of frowned back and said no- I told you it was too early to feel it on the out...WAIT. We both kind of paused. I felt it, but I wasn't sure if B had. Silence. Then I felt it again, and I kind of jumped. And then B just says "Babies!"
It was the friggin coolest thing ever. Because then whoever it was, A or B, who was giving us this little show just kept going. It was the most kicking I've felt in a row yet. And they did it for Daddy! He kept his hand on my belly for a long time and everytime we'd feel another kick we'd both smile and look at eachother again.
Best part of the pregnancy yet. Hands down.
Love.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
19 Weeks!
1. We are over the halfway mark for twins!!! That's just crazy for me- holy wow. Even if we go all the way to 38 weeks (which is sounding less and less likely as the doc said she would probably schedule a c-section for 37 weeks) we'd be halfway. I just keep praying that we keep making it one more day at a time, one more week...but deep down...please God let us make it to 37 weeks.
2. I can't post comments on blogger blogs! It's driving me insane. There are so many things I want to say (even though I haven't been a good commenter since the hyperemesis started, but I'm feeling much better and get to get on and read every other day or so). I will say on here that I want to wish KC good good luck and that I'm thinking of her as she waits those excruciating 3-5 days after retrieval! Go wish her good thoughts.
3. There are so many others that I'm reading about and am nervous/anxious/excited/totallyunderstandwhatthey'regoingthrough for right now. And it's weird how many pregnancy and mommy-after-infertility blogs I'm reading now. I had a hard time reading those sometimes, even though I knew what they'd been through. So I totally get why it would be hard to read this blog for those still "in the trenches" if you will. I love what Elphaba said in her recent post about the awkward transition from IF blogger to pregnant blogger... I just started following her journey a couple weeks ago but she's a great writer and I like what she has to say.
4. I was SOOOOO excited when I got home yesterday from work and saw two packages on the kitchen counter. The first one I opened because I knew what it was- my SNO.OGLE!!! I didn't know what I was missing. Honestly. It's like they got all of the pregnant women who ever existed into one room and figured out exactly what they all needed in a pregnancy pillow and then created the snoo.gle. Ok, maybe that's a bit much. But I can't believe I waited this long. I've been uncomfortable for a while now when I sleep and just kept putting more and more comforter in between my knees to help align my hips...well anyway, this is way better. Lovely.
5. I didn't think the next package could ever live up to the snoo.gle...and then I opened it. It was from two of my amazing friends from college who just wanted to send B and I a gift for the luckies!!! I cried. Yes, I cried. Thank you girls!!! I opened it up and there were two bibs- one pink and one blue- that say "If you think I'm cute, you should see my twin"! Pause for miniature freak out. Yes, I did. And then, my favorite part because I've found some sort of obsession with "binkies" since I decided to try one out myself last weekend- two teeny tiny little binkies- one blue and one pink of course- that both say "I'm the favorite". AWWWWWW! I've seriously become a pile of mush around all things baby. I mean, it's all so small and so huggable. Have you ever hugged a binky? If you're infertile- you will. If you're not infertile, just do it. It's glorious. I don't even know if we'll use binkies (I have no qualms, just wondering what our little luckies will be like...you never know, maybe they won't like them??) but I just envision these tiny little mouths that fit these tiny little binkies and then I cry for a good five minutes. Could this really be happening? Could we really get these two tiny little blessings? Ok, crying again.
6. Just to track the goings-on in our little pregnant world- Sunday I had massive pain in my lower abdomen that turned into stabbing type pains and pressure into my lady bits as well as my bum. I was worried but every time I ever call the doctor I just feel like such a hypochondriac pansy and then they tell me to take 600 mg of Ad.vil and of course confirm my hypochondriac pansyness without saying it... So I didn't call all day while I attempted to shop at Buy Bu.y Ba.by with B and my mom. She loves that store and I was excited to go with her. But I ruined it with all of my pain and groaning. Then we went back to my parent's house and had a glorious meal that I ruined some more with my complaining. Finally we went home and it got way worse when I would stand up (got better when I laid down) so I called and go the other doc in our clinic who was on call. She told me that I was on the border of "go to the ER" and "take some Ad.vil". I hate the ER, honestly. And if she wasn't super duper worried I figured I'd try the drugs and see if I could sleep. She did tell me I needed to get in the next day for a check though. So, of course, I was able to sleep and then woke up feeling much better (pansy) but called for a check up anyway cuz it was scary. I got to see the luckies again and they look fabulous. They did a cervical check and everything is the same- nothing to worry about. Both babies had turned feet down and they figured that's why I was having more pressure/pain in my lower regions with all those lovely kicks aiming down and at my cervix... Sometimes I stop and think about how there are four legs in my belly. Weird.
How Far Along: 19 weeks
Size of Baby: They went from avocados to onions to sweet potatoes and now I have two MANGOES in my belly! They are each about 6 inches long now, crown to rump. :)
Picture of Baby: I keep getting texts and emails and comments about loving the belly shots. We're going to keep doing them weekly and I'll try to post every week or so...but I do want to say that I'm sorry for any who might not really want to see pregnant belly pics right now. I get it. I will keep warning of it in my title!
Maternity Clothes: Loving my new Ko.hl's dresses! I think dresses will be the staple as it got up to 118 a couple days ago according to B's car. No maternity pants for this lady- those belly bands are HOT.
Weight Gain: Oh- we're progressing rapidly now!!! I eat anything I can get my hands on most of the time (the nausea will creep up and bite me in the ass just when I start to get comfortable in eating whatever is in front of me instead of what actually sounds good...). I'm now at my pre-pregnancy weight!!! Oh yeah! So that's technically gaining about 15 pounds with the hyperemesis loss. But I need to get to 25lbs over this weight by 30 weeks at the latest if possible doc said. That's still 11 weeks- I think I can do that with how much I'm gaining right now.
Belly: Definitely a bump. It's not huge or anything, but I like it. :) I have gotten a couple comments on how I'm "carrying small" for twins. I think it's just that I'm 6'1" and they have a bit more room to move around before popping outward. I'm getting a lot more comments about being pregnant now though- so I don't feel as weird about just looking chubby. ha.
Stretch Marks: Not yet. I still think the stretch mark oil I have smells too strong, so I'm just using regular lotion for now. That's gonna have to change soon. Apparently by 28 weeks I'll be the size of a full-term singleton pregnancy. That's some rapid growth over the next 9 weeks.
Sleep: B IS BACK!!! Yep- he's back in our room! It's been a couple weeks now but I didn't want to jinx it. I really missed him. I'm waking up more to pee now- at least a couple times a night. Last night it was 3. Sometimes I can stay in bed and keep sorta sleeping for a good 9 or 10 hours. Sometimes, like last night, I wake up after 6 and just give up. A couple nights ago I fell asleep at 8:45 and didn't really get up to get going until 7am. Bless.
Best Moment of the Week: Although a bit scary- seeing the luckies again! And hearing that my cervix is still 5. Keep it up cervix! pleeease.
Movement: Yeah. Best.thing.ever. I haven't been able to get B to feel it. They usually go away right when I try to put my own hand on my belly let alone when B tries. But I get lots of movement right after work :) They like it when I stop working and lay down.
Symptoms: Nausea is (and I think will always be) still there from time to time, especially in the evenings. The mornings and early afternoons are SO much better though. I'm also wicked tired most afternoons, but I haven't been napping as much so that I can sleep better through the night. I'm also starting to get pain in my hips more and more and my tail bone really hurts when I sit down for too long. And I'm feeling like my ab muscles are stretching some now, they feel kind of sore. Um...I also still have some digestive problems, but that's more from the Zo.fran. I have adhesions all throughout my abdomen and I'll get these sharp stabbing pains sometimes, I think that might be those stretching or ripping.
Food Cravings: I heart cheddar and sour cream chips right now. And not the baked kind. No, none of that crap around here. Give me the full fat, super greasy, lots of orange fingers afterward kind. Mmmm. Sour cream and onion usually are pretty good, too. I'm liking the Fire Roasted Tomato soup from Para.dise Bak.ery again like I used to. I can't seem to eat large meals at night, but usually lunch is where I try to get my big calories cuz I can really take it down in the middle of the afternoon! People comment. I've heard "Is that all for you??" one too many times recently. I just reply that it's for three, dammit.
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba! We joke that anytime I eat any protein (I've started getting down some almonds sometimes! Yay!) that Bubba's taking it all. Watch, he's gonna end up being lighter than she is.
What I Miss: Walking with any sort of purpose or speed. I feel like I'm already waddling- that's not normal. But I walk SO much slower than I used to. I hate sweating right now so I don't want to work up any sort of sweat, ugh. And did I mention it's flipping hot here? And I get out of breath a little easier, nothing like it will be, I'm sure.
What I'm Looking Forward to: The big anatomy scan to make sure everything is on-track and looking healthy for our little ones! In this last sort-of-emergency type u/s I saw a big black spot on little lady's lower abdomen. I told myself it's her bladder. I'm sure it is, right? I just want everything to be good. Anyway- that scan is next Wednesday and we get to look at our offspring for an HOUR. love.
Weekly Wisdom: Hmm... Oh I know. Just call the F'ing doctor. If you're worried- there's no point in waiting just cuz you don't want to seem overly panicky. I felt SO much better when they let me come in and see that all was ok. And they were super nice about it and told me that they have these type of appointments every single day. Most pregnant women need some reassurance now and then, let alone us friggin infertile types who start thinking the absolute worst at any abnormal pain...
Milestones: HALFWAY! (is that one word?)
Emotions: Still nervous and anxious but SO excited to be living again and be able to share the pregnancy with my co-workers and friends. I definitely get teary super easily...I cry whenever B tells me I'm doing a good job. haha I seriously have to watch myself at work though- my eyes get all red and watery whenever I even think about these two little humans. Can't be doing that around just anybody. But I think most people get it. :)
2. I can't post comments on blogger blogs! It's driving me insane. There are so many things I want to say (even though I haven't been a good commenter since the hyperemesis started, but I'm feeling much better and get to get on and read every other day or so). I will say on here that I want to wish KC good good luck and that I'm thinking of her as she waits those excruciating 3-5 days after retrieval! Go wish her good thoughts.
3. There are so many others that I'm reading about and am nervous/anxious/excited/totallyunderstandwhatthey'regoingthrough for right now. And it's weird how many pregnancy and mommy-after-infertility blogs I'm reading now. I had a hard time reading those sometimes, even though I knew what they'd been through. So I totally get why it would be hard to read this blog for those still "in the trenches" if you will. I love what Elphaba said in her recent post about the awkward transition from IF blogger to pregnant blogger... I just started following her journey a couple weeks ago but she's a great writer and I like what she has to say.
4. I was SOOOOO excited when I got home yesterday from work and saw two packages on the kitchen counter. The first one I opened because I knew what it was- my SNO.OGLE!!! I didn't know what I was missing. Honestly. It's like they got all of the pregnant women who ever existed into one room and figured out exactly what they all needed in a pregnancy pillow and then created the snoo.gle. Ok, maybe that's a bit much. But I can't believe I waited this long. I've been uncomfortable for a while now when I sleep and just kept putting more and more comforter in between my knees to help align my hips...well anyway, this is way better. Lovely.
5. I didn't think the next package could ever live up to the snoo.gle...and then I opened it. It was from two of my amazing friends from college who just wanted to send B and I a gift for the luckies!!! I cried. Yes, I cried. Thank you girls!!! I opened it up and there were two bibs- one pink and one blue- that say "If you think I'm cute, you should see my twin"! Pause for miniature freak out. Yes, I did. And then, my favorite part because I've found some sort of obsession with "binkies" since I decided to try one out myself last weekend- two teeny tiny little binkies- one blue and one pink of course- that both say "I'm the favorite". AWWWWWW! I've seriously become a pile of mush around all things baby. I mean, it's all so small and so huggable. Have you ever hugged a binky? If you're infertile- you will. If you're not infertile, just do it. It's glorious. I don't even know if we'll use binkies (I have no qualms, just wondering what our little luckies will be like...you never know, maybe they won't like them??) but I just envision these tiny little mouths that fit these tiny little binkies and then I cry for a good five minutes. Could this really be happening? Could we really get these two tiny little blessings? Ok, crying again.
6. Just to track the goings-on in our little pregnant world- Sunday I had massive pain in my lower abdomen that turned into stabbing type pains and pressure into my lady bits as well as my bum. I was worried but every time I ever call the doctor I just feel like such a hypochondriac pansy and then they tell me to take 600 mg of Ad.vil and of course confirm my hypochondriac pansyness without saying it... So I didn't call all day while I attempted to shop at Buy Bu.y Ba.by with B and my mom. She loves that store and I was excited to go with her. But I ruined it with all of my pain and groaning. Then we went back to my parent's house and had a glorious meal that I ruined some more with my complaining. Finally we went home and it got way worse when I would stand up (got better when I laid down) so I called and go the other doc in our clinic who was on call. She told me that I was on the border of "go to the ER" and "take some Ad.vil". I hate the ER, honestly. And if she wasn't super duper worried I figured I'd try the drugs and see if I could sleep. She did tell me I needed to get in the next day for a check though. So, of course, I was able to sleep and then woke up feeling much better (pansy) but called for a check up anyway cuz it was scary. I got to see the luckies again and they look fabulous. They did a cervical check and everything is the same- nothing to worry about. Both babies had turned feet down and they figured that's why I was having more pressure/pain in my lower regions with all those lovely kicks aiming down and at my cervix... Sometimes I stop and think about how there are four legs in my belly. Weird.
How Far Along: 19 weeks
Size of Baby: They went from avocados to onions to sweet potatoes and now I have two MANGOES in my belly! They are each about 6 inches long now, crown to rump. :)
Picture of Baby: I keep getting texts and emails and comments about loving the belly shots. We're going to keep doing them weekly and I'll try to post every week or so...but I do want to say that I'm sorry for any who might not really want to see pregnant belly pics right now. I get it. I will keep warning of it in my title!
Maternity Clothes: Loving my new Ko.hl's dresses! I think dresses will be the staple as it got up to 118 a couple days ago according to B's car. No maternity pants for this lady- those belly bands are HOT.
Weight Gain: Oh- we're progressing rapidly now!!! I eat anything I can get my hands on most of the time (the nausea will creep up and bite me in the ass just when I start to get comfortable in eating whatever is in front of me instead of what actually sounds good...). I'm now at my pre-pregnancy weight!!! Oh yeah! So that's technically gaining about 15 pounds with the hyperemesis loss. But I need to get to 25lbs over this weight by 30 weeks at the latest if possible doc said. That's still 11 weeks- I think I can do that with how much I'm gaining right now.
Belly: Definitely a bump. It's not huge or anything, but I like it. :) I have gotten a couple comments on how I'm "carrying small" for twins. I think it's just that I'm 6'1" and they have a bit more room to move around before popping outward. I'm getting a lot more comments about being pregnant now though- so I don't feel as weird about just looking chubby. ha.
Stretch Marks: Not yet. I still think the stretch mark oil I have smells too strong, so I'm just using regular lotion for now. That's gonna have to change soon. Apparently by 28 weeks I'll be the size of a full-term singleton pregnancy. That's some rapid growth over the next 9 weeks.
Sleep: B IS BACK!!! Yep- he's back in our room! It's been a couple weeks now but I didn't want to jinx it. I really missed him. I'm waking up more to pee now- at least a couple times a night. Last night it was 3. Sometimes I can stay in bed and keep sorta sleeping for a good 9 or 10 hours. Sometimes, like last night, I wake up after 6 and just give up. A couple nights ago I fell asleep at 8:45 and didn't really get up to get going until 7am. Bless.
Best Moment of the Week: Although a bit scary- seeing the luckies again! And hearing that my cervix is still 5. Keep it up cervix! pleeease.
Movement: Yeah. Best.thing.ever. I haven't been able to get B to feel it. They usually go away right when I try to put my own hand on my belly let alone when B tries. But I get lots of movement right after work :) They like it when I stop working and lay down.
Symptoms: Nausea is (and I think will always be) still there from time to time, especially in the evenings. The mornings and early afternoons are SO much better though. I'm also wicked tired most afternoons, but I haven't been napping as much so that I can sleep better through the night. I'm also starting to get pain in my hips more and more and my tail bone really hurts when I sit down for too long. And I'm feeling like my ab muscles are stretching some now, they feel kind of sore. Um...I also still have some digestive problems, but that's more from the Zo.fran. I have adhesions all throughout my abdomen and I'll get these sharp stabbing pains sometimes, I think that might be those stretching or ripping.
Food Cravings: I heart cheddar and sour cream chips right now. And not the baked kind. No, none of that crap around here. Give me the full fat, super greasy, lots of orange fingers afterward kind. Mmmm. Sour cream and onion usually are pretty good, too. I'm liking the Fire Roasted Tomato soup from Para.dise Bak.ery again like I used to. I can't seem to eat large meals at night, but usually lunch is where I try to get my big calories cuz I can really take it down in the middle of the afternoon! People comment. I've heard "Is that all for you??" one too many times recently. I just reply that it's for three, dammit.
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba! We joke that anytime I eat any protein (I've started getting down some almonds sometimes! Yay!) that Bubba's taking it all. Watch, he's gonna end up being lighter than she is.
What I Miss: Walking with any sort of purpose or speed. I feel like I'm already waddling- that's not normal. But I walk SO much slower than I used to. I hate sweating right now so I don't want to work up any sort of sweat, ugh. And did I mention it's flipping hot here? And I get out of breath a little easier, nothing like it will be, I'm sure.
What I'm Looking Forward to: The big anatomy scan to make sure everything is on-track and looking healthy for our little ones! In this last sort-of-emergency type u/s I saw a big black spot on little lady's lower abdomen. I told myself it's her bladder. I'm sure it is, right? I just want everything to be good. Anyway- that scan is next Wednesday and we get to look at our offspring for an HOUR. love.
Weekly Wisdom: Hmm... Oh I know. Just call the F'ing doctor. If you're worried- there's no point in waiting just cuz you don't want to seem overly panicky. I felt SO much better when they let me come in and see that all was ok. And they were super nice about it and told me that they have these type of appointments every single day. Most pregnant women need some reassurance now and then, let alone us friggin infertile types who start thinking the absolute worst at any abnormal pain...
Milestones: HALFWAY! (is that one word?)
Emotions: Still nervous and anxious but SO excited to be living again and be able to share the pregnancy with my co-workers and friends. I definitely get teary super easily...I cry whenever B tells me I'm doing a good job. haha I seriously have to watch myself at work though- my eyes get all red and watery whenever I even think about these two little humans. Can't be doing that around just anybody. But I think most people get it. :)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Belly (pic)
So here's the growing belly...
I'm starting to get more stretching and aching type pains...apparently I'm going to look full term for a single pregnancy in about 10 weeks, so we've still got some serious growing to do- but it really feels like I'm getting there! :)
Went out to Ko.hls and bought some clearance maternity stuff for work because I've been rotating the same three dresses and two shirts for three weeks now...yikes. I also bought a couple of non-maternity dresses that have plenty of room to grow for at least a while (and then I can wear them later, too!!) I try to think whether I'd wear this stuff after pregnancy before I buy it- but I'm guessing when I'm 34 weeks with twins we're gonna be working with balloon type clothing so I'll be flexible. Can you say Muumuu's???
Bring it on!!!
 |
| 16w3d |
 |
| 17w3d |
 |
| 18w3d |
I'm starting to get more stretching and aching type pains...apparently I'm going to look full term for a single pregnancy in about 10 weeks, so we've still got some serious growing to do- but it really feels like I'm getting there! :)
Went out to Ko.hls and bought some clearance maternity stuff for work because I've been rotating the same three dresses and two shirts for three weeks now...yikes. I also bought a couple of non-maternity dresses that have plenty of room to grow for at least a while (and then I can wear them later, too!!) I try to think whether I'd wear this stuff after pregnancy before I buy it- but I'm guessing when I'm 34 weeks with twins we're gonna be working with balloon type clothing so I'll be flexible. Can you say Muumuu's???
Bring it on!!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
18w1d and growing!
I went to work yesterday and two people commented on how it looks like I've grown quite a bit overnight. It made me over the moon happy! I know that I'll be uncomfortable later, God willing, when this belly gets beastly big- but I just still worry so much that the twins aren't getting enough good nutrition or they're not growing enough or something. I know worry comes with the territory of parenting, but I think there's a little something more for those of us who didn't get here all too easily.
I still have nightmares that it will all end, that I'll wake up and have to consider our options all over again, have to think of what we can handle- what I can handle again. I couldn't bear to lose these two pieces of me, and I wish I didn't have any of these thoughts. Ever. But I have to be honest that they're there, and they get really loud sometimes.
So it was such a blessing to have someone else say that I'm growing! That it looks like our two precious hopes are getting bigger, and hopefully therefore strong and healthy.
When I come back to reality from my nightmares, I realize that I'm eating WAY better. And I feel a hundred million BILLION times better than I have at any point in this pregnancy right now. Upping my dose of Pro.tonix seemed to definitely help with the nighttime nausea. I still get a little sick when I eat just a teensy bit too much or try to eat something that I wasn't really craving. But honestly, I can usually push through that and keep eating without having to run to the bathroom. I'm weaning myself down on the Zo.fran now, too! Only half the max dose at this point. This is an amazing, amazing place to be. I'm so enjoying this moment. How lucky am I? How lucky are we to have two babies growing inside of me. I just have to smile when I think about it. And usually cry. I cry a lot (at work now, too). Happy tears.
Oh, oh oh oh. And the flutters. They are life changing. It feels so incredible. I felt them on the outside for the first time on Wednesday night and it was unreal. Just a couple little pops and it was like the whole world stopped. Then at work yesterday- I'm just sitting at my computer doing something that just months ago seemed so important and then I feel them. Our little boy and little girl moving around, getting comfortable, stretching and kicking. Everything else just fades and my whole perspective changes. I don't think I'll ever be the same person and I'm so grateful.
I still have nightmares that it will all end, that I'll wake up and have to consider our options all over again, have to think of what we can handle- what I can handle again. I couldn't bear to lose these two pieces of me, and I wish I didn't have any of these thoughts. Ever. But I have to be honest that they're there, and they get really loud sometimes.
So it was such a blessing to have someone else say that I'm growing! That it looks like our two precious hopes are getting bigger, and hopefully therefore strong and healthy.
When I come back to reality from my nightmares, I realize that I'm eating WAY better. And I feel a hundred million BILLION times better than I have at any point in this pregnancy right now. Upping my dose of Pro.tonix seemed to definitely help with the nighttime nausea. I still get a little sick when I eat just a teensy bit too much or try to eat something that I wasn't really craving. But honestly, I can usually push through that and keep eating without having to run to the bathroom. I'm weaning myself down on the Zo.fran now, too! Only half the max dose at this point. This is an amazing, amazing place to be. I'm so enjoying this moment. How lucky am I? How lucky are we to have two babies growing inside of me. I just have to smile when I think about it. And usually cry. I cry a lot (at work now, too). Happy tears.
Oh, oh oh oh. And the flutters. They are life changing. It feels so incredible. I felt them on the outside for the first time on Wednesday night and it was unreal. Just a couple little pops and it was like the whole world stopped. Then at work yesterday- I'm just sitting at my computer doing something that just months ago seemed so important and then I feel them. Our little boy and little girl moving around, getting comfortable, stretching and kicking. Everything else just fades and my whole perspective changes. I don't think I'll ever be the same person and I'm so grateful.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
17 Weeks 2 Days... (lots of pics)
I think it's about time I upload some pics, no? I'm sitting over here all selfish in my sea of ultrasound photos, not even looking at those 10 week ones anymore because I've nearly worn them out with looks in the last couple of months...but do I share? Oh no, I'm just lapping it all up over here on my own. How awful. You can all revolt if you'd like. I'll give you a moment.
Harsh guys. Harsh.
But now that that's over with, who wants to see the luckies??? (I have to qualify this by saying 1- my scanner is broken and appears to never want to function again...so this is good ol' manual point and click at ultrasound photos which, of course, are amazingly hard to get pictures of with the glare of that glossy paper... and 2- I'm going to pull out the ones which make my beloved daughter and son look anything like aliens...)
And, the first official belly shot for good measure...
Mini Update: Ultrasound and doctor's appointment went great yesterday. I'm gaining weight!!! According to their scale, I'm up 8 pounds from two weeks ago. Oh yeah baby...or babies!
I'm eating a lot more. I'm still sick at night- feel like I have the flu when I get off of work. Doc doubled my dose of Pro.tonix so I'm taking that twice a day now (the max allowed) so we'll see if that helps with these night time yucks. It's just hard to eat dinner. But I try to make up for it with my all day non-stop snacking. Mmm...goldfish crackers. I should own stock on them right now. And strawberry nutri-gr.ain bars. Two a day at least.
I was a bit dehydrated yesterday at my appt so I need to do a better job drinking water at work. I usually drink three bottles of water in the 6 or so hours I'm there. Not good enough.
Oh- work stress is way too high right now. I'm in the process of dealing with some not so fun HR stuff with one of my employees that's taking all of my time and making me a crazy person. Why can't it just be easy? Hopefully we can get this all straightened out soon. Ugh. Also- I'm trying to do full-time work in sorta part-time hours right now. Not cool. Hopefully I'll be able to work full time next week without feeling like I'm dying or else something has to change.
Babies are moving more now! Lots of flutters! Nothing from the outside yet though- I really want B to feel them. Can't wait!!!
Oh, and finally...I've had TWO people stop to either ask when I'm due or ask if I'm expecting this last week! I sort of knew both of them a bit so I think it was a little more comfortable for them to ask. But I'm so excited for when the first stranger makes a comment- I'm totally gonna look at them all freaked out and say "Expecting what?!" That's horrible, I know. But unless it's seriously painfully obvious that there are babies moving around inside of someone's stomach or there's a leg hanging out between a woman's legs (which would be quite a problem in and of itself), I can't imagine asking someone about being pregnant. What if there's something else going on? What if they already had the baby recently? Plus, I just kinda want to mess with someone...
Harsh guys. Harsh.
But now that that's over with, who wants to see the luckies??? (I have to qualify this by saying 1- my scanner is broken and appears to never want to function again...so this is good ol' manual point and click at ultrasound photos which, of course, are amazingly hard to get pictures of with the glare of that glossy paper... and 2- I'm going to pull out the ones which make my beloved daughter and son look anything like aliens...)
 |
| How it all started! Our two perfect day 5 blasts...the LUCKIES! |
 |
| This is crazy because this is a pic of the luckies being placed into my uterus...can't see anything? Yeah me neither. But look what's come of that... |
 |
| The famous owl shot! Both luckies stuck in there and they're growing! 5w5d |
 |
| Still growing- and we have two heartbeats! 6w4d 4/4/11 |
 |
| 4/13/11 (Hyperemesis settling in...oh man, but look how cute and worth it they are!) |
 |
| Twin A 4/13/11 |
 |
| Twin B 4/13/11 (it's just a bit of a blurry u/s pic...and both of the twins were still kinda blobs at that point. But blobs of LOVE) |
 |
| 4/29/11 gummy bears! Yay!! |
 |
| 4/29/11 Twin A with little arm nubs |
 |
| 4/29/11 Twin B |
 |
| 5/6/11 Twin B - they're starting to get little faces with noses and everything! |
 |
| 5/19/11 One of my favs! The twins are facing each other, twin A on the bottom twin B on the top |
 |
| 5/19/11 Twin A |
 |
| 5/19/11 And they have HANDS! Twin B's little wave |
 |
| 5/19/11 And spines! Twin B |
 |
| 6/1/11- I had to do it. They have they're little boy and little girl parts too! Twin B is a BOY! See the arrow pointing to his bubba bits? |
 |
| 6/1/11 This one's a little harder to see. But she's a girl! Twin A |
 |
| 6/1/11 Twin A |
 |
| 6/1/11 TwinB |
 |
| And yesterday! 17w1d 6/17/11 Twin A |
 |
| 6/17/11 17w1d Twin B |
And, the first official belly shot for good measure...
 |
| 16w3d 6/12/11 (I can still kinda suck it in so it's not so out there if I wanted to...but why would I want to do that?? This one is letting it all hang out) |
Mini Update: Ultrasound and doctor's appointment went great yesterday. I'm gaining weight!!! According to their scale, I'm up 8 pounds from two weeks ago. Oh yeah baby...or babies!
I'm eating a lot more. I'm still sick at night- feel like I have the flu when I get off of work. Doc doubled my dose of Pro.tonix so I'm taking that twice a day now (the max allowed) so we'll see if that helps with these night time yucks. It's just hard to eat dinner. But I try to make up for it with my all day non-stop snacking. Mmm...goldfish crackers. I should own stock on them right now. And strawberry nutri-gr.ain bars. Two a day at least.
I was a bit dehydrated yesterday at my appt so I need to do a better job drinking water at work. I usually drink three bottles of water in the 6 or so hours I'm there. Not good enough.
Oh- work stress is way too high right now. I'm in the process of dealing with some not so fun HR stuff with one of my employees that's taking all of my time and making me a crazy person. Why can't it just be easy? Hopefully we can get this all straightened out soon. Ugh. Also- I'm trying to do full-time work in sorta part-time hours right now. Not cool. Hopefully I'll be able to work full time next week without feeling like I'm dying or else something has to change.
Babies are moving more now! Lots of flutters! Nothing from the outside yet though- I really want B to feel them. Can't wait!!!
Oh, and finally...I've had TWO people stop to either ask when I'm due or ask if I'm expecting this last week! I sort of knew both of them a bit so I think it was a little more comfortable for them to ask. But I'm so excited for when the first stranger makes a comment- I'm totally gonna look at them all freaked out and say "Expecting what?!" That's horrible, I know. But unless it's seriously painfully obvious that there are babies moving around inside of someone's stomach or there's a leg hanging out between a woman's legs (which would be quite a problem in and of itself), I can't imagine asking someone about being pregnant. What if there's something else going on? What if they already had the baby recently? Plus, I just kinda want to mess with someone...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
16 Weeks!
How Far Along: 16 weeks
Size of Baby: Apparently, the length of an avocado! Mmm, two avocadoes...
Picture of Baby: I suck at doing any pics... but we have a few really cute ones, and of course the money gender shots :)
Maternity Clothes: Heading back to work this week for the first time meant no more beaters and undies...so I had to break out the real clothes. And for me, that meant maternity clothes. I can do the bella band with pants but by later in the day my zipper is down so far that I'm way too worried all the time that someone will notice. I'll use that when I'm just going out for a bit, but not at work. So I've moved to maternity pants. Not cute...but comfy! I'm finally a little ok with something touching my belly, so that's good. Although, I'm always excited to jump back into a T and undies after work :) I'm thinking this weekend is going to be calling for some more shopping since I really only have two maternity shirts. I'm now just wearing larger shirts that I had (that are long) but the ladies are WAY too big for those at work I found out today...yikes! :)
Weight Gain: This is the big deal of the moment! Listen up...I gained some weight!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!? I'm so excited. I'm about 5 pounds higher than I was at my lowest (in the depths of hyperemesis), and about 2 pounds up from the standard weight loss I had. So I'm still about 9 pounds or so below my pre-pregnancy weight. But it's progress!
Belly: Definitely a bump. It's not huge or anything, but I like it. :)
Stretch Marks: Not yet. I still think the stretch mark oil I have smells too strong, so I'm just using regular lotion for now. That's gonna have to change soon. Apparently by 28 weeks I'll be the size of a full-term singleton pregnancy. That's some rapid growth over the next 12 weeks.
Sleep: B and I are still in separate rooms :( Still have trouble smelling him too close. Sad sad sad. I'm also the lightest sleeper EVER now. If B were to turn over it would wake me up. I usually wake up 1-2 times per night to pee, but that's after I pee 2-3 times while I'm trying to fall asleep. Very strange. Oh, and I'm definitely wishing I had a pregnancy pillow right now. I want one. My hips are starting to hurt when I sleep.
Best Moment of the Week: Gaining some weight and not puking!!! What an amazing, amazing thing. Still super nauseous at night, but have been able to keep all my food down. SCORE! Still on the highest dose of Zof.ran.
Movement: I think so :) I feel little pops here and there (not very often) that kind of feel like little muscle twitches but only one at a time. And I think I've felt some flutter type things recently, too! Can't wait for it to be a little more obvious.
Symptoms: Nausea is (and I think will always be) still there from time to time, especially in the evenings (doesn't go away after a certain point in the night...I always fall asleep trying not to throw up). The mornings and early afternoons are SO much better though. I get headaches from time to time that throb really badly- I can see spots that move as my heart beats, it's irritating. I'm also wicked tired most afternoons, I usually need about a 2 hour nap after I get home around 3pm. I'm also starting to get pain in my hips and "lightning crotch" as I've heard it called. Ha. And I'm feeling like my ab muscles are stretching some now, they feel kind of sore. Um...I also still have some digestive problems, but that's more from the Zo.fran. I have adhesions all throughout my abdomen and I'll get these sharp stabbing pains sometimes, I think that might be those stretching or ripping.
Food Cravings: I have an aversion to most food. But from time to time something will sound like I could get it down without dry heaving. I try to eat those things. ;) I have been liking sweet candies lately, like starburst. I actually enjoyed a starburst today. I haven't enjoyed food for about 10 weeks. I mostly just tolerate it...or force it down.
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba! We joke that anytime I eat any protein (I've started getting down some almonds sometimes! Yay!) that Bubba's taking it all. Watch, he's gonna end up being lighter than she is.
What I Miss: Food.
What I'm Looking Forward to: Our next ultrasound is in about a week, so I'm anxious to make sure they're doing ok. I'm really looking forward to feeling some serious movement, although I'm sure later I'll be regretting saying that as they kick me in the ribs. I actually have heard of women breaking ribs because of a kick. Um, scary?
Weekly Wisdom: Don't overdo it. I'm taking it really slow coming back to work. I'm only doing half days and sometimes that even feels like too much. My first day up and about last weekend (we started doing a bit of shopping and registering at BRU) I got some serious cramps as I was walking around. I called the nurse just to ask if that's what's to be expected because I've been horizontal for so long and she said absolutely not. She explained that because I've been down so much I have to be really careful and take it slow because my body won't respond well to too much too fast...which could be bad for the pregnancy. So I'm takin' it slow! :)
Milestones: Actually gaining a few pounds, for sure!!!! And not yacking for over a week!
Emotions: Still nervous and anxious but SO excited to be living again and be able to share the pregnancy with my co-workers and friends. I definitely get teary super easily...I cry whenever B tells me I'm doing a good job. haha I almost cried in front of my boss today talking about the hyperemesis and how every night I'm afraid it's going to come back as bad as it was. I'm living in fear over here.
Size of Baby: Apparently, the length of an avocado! Mmm, two avocadoes...
Picture of Baby: I suck at doing any pics... but we have a few really cute ones, and of course the money gender shots :)
Maternity Clothes: Heading back to work this week for the first time meant no more beaters and undies...so I had to break out the real clothes. And for me, that meant maternity clothes. I can do the bella band with pants but by later in the day my zipper is down so far that I'm way too worried all the time that someone will notice. I'll use that when I'm just going out for a bit, but not at work. So I've moved to maternity pants. Not cute...but comfy! I'm finally a little ok with something touching my belly, so that's good. Although, I'm always excited to jump back into a T and undies after work :) I'm thinking this weekend is going to be calling for some more shopping since I really only have two maternity shirts. I'm now just wearing larger shirts that I had (that are long) but the ladies are WAY too big for those at work I found out today...yikes! :)
Weight Gain: This is the big deal of the moment! Listen up...I gained some weight!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!? I'm so excited. I'm about 5 pounds higher than I was at my lowest (in the depths of hyperemesis), and about 2 pounds up from the standard weight loss I had. So I'm still about 9 pounds or so below my pre-pregnancy weight. But it's progress!
Belly: Definitely a bump. It's not huge or anything, but I like it. :)
Stretch Marks: Not yet. I still think the stretch mark oil I have smells too strong, so I'm just using regular lotion for now. That's gonna have to change soon. Apparently by 28 weeks I'll be the size of a full-term singleton pregnancy. That's some rapid growth over the next 12 weeks.
Sleep: B and I are still in separate rooms :( Still have trouble smelling him too close. Sad sad sad. I'm also the lightest sleeper EVER now. If B were to turn over it would wake me up. I usually wake up 1-2 times per night to pee, but that's after I pee 2-3 times while I'm trying to fall asleep. Very strange. Oh, and I'm definitely wishing I had a pregnancy pillow right now. I want one. My hips are starting to hurt when I sleep.
Best Moment of the Week: Gaining some weight and not puking!!! What an amazing, amazing thing. Still super nauseous at night, but have been able to keep all my food down. SCORE! Still on the highest dose of Zof.ran.
Movement: I think so :) I feel little pops here and there (not very often) that kind of feel like little muscle twitches but only one at a time. And I think I've felt some flutter type things recently, too! Can't wait for it to be a little more obvious.
Symptoms: Nausea is (and I think will always be) still there from time to time, especially in the evenings (doesn't go away after a certain point in the night...I always fall asleep trying not to throw up). The mornings and early afternoons are SO much better though. I get headaches from time to time that throb really badly- I can see spots that move as my heart beats, it's irritating. I'm also wicked tired most afternoons, I usually need about a 2 hour nap after I get home around 3pm. I'm also starting to get pain in my hips and "lightning crotch" as I've heard it called. Ha. And I'm feeling like my ab muscles are stretching some now, they feel kind of sore. Um...I also still have some digestive problems, but that's more from the Zo.fran. I have adhesions all throughout my abdomen and I'll get these sharp stabbing pains sometimes, I think that might be those stretching or ripping.
Food Cravings: I have an aversion to most food. But from time to time something will sound like I could get it down without dry heaving. I try to eat those things. ;) I have been liking sweet candies lately, like starburst. I actually enjoyed a starburst today. I haven't enjoyed food for about 10 weeks. I mostly just tolerate it...or force it down.
Gender: GIRL and BOY!!! Little Lady and Big Bubba! We joke that anytime I eat any protein (I've started getting down some almonds sometimes! Yay!) that Bubba's taking it all. Watch, he's gonna end up being lighter than she is.
What I Miss: Food.
What I'm Looking Forward to: Our next ultrasound is in about a week, so I'm anxious to make sure they're doing ok. I'm really looking forward to feeling some serious movement, although I'm sure later I'll be regretting saying that as they kick me in the ribs. I actually have heard of women breaking ribs because of a kick. Um, scary?
Weekly Wisdom: Don't overdo it. I'm taking it really slow coming back to work. I'm only doing half days and sometimes that even feels like too much. My first day up and about last weekend (we started doing a bit of shopping and registering at BRU) I got some serious cramps as I was walking around. I called the nurse just to ask if that's what's to be expected because I've been horizontal for so long and she said absolutely not. She explained that because I've been down so much I have to be really careful and take it slow because my body won't respond well to too much too fast...which could be bad for the pregnancy. So I'm takin' it slow! :)
Milestones: Actually gaining a few pounds, for sure!!!! And not yacking for over a week!
Emotions: Still nervous and anxious but SO excited to be living again and be able to share the pregnancy with my co-workers and friends. I definitely get teary super easily...I cry whenever B tells me I'm doing a good job. haha I almost cried in front of my boss today talking about the hyperemesis and how every night I'm afraid it's going to come back as bad as it was. I'm living in fear over here.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
15 Weeks and DRUMROLL...!!!
Oh yes, we've hit 15 weeks today which just feels like such an amazing milestone for some reason- maybe because all the baby books and the b.ump keep telling me that our offspring are now the size of oranges. Mmm.
But probably because WE GOT TO FIND OUT THE SEXES YESTERDAY!! So...drumroll...
We're having a GIRL AND A BOY!!!!
Oh I just couldn't be happier. B couldn't be happier. (Not just because I really, really can say that this is my last pregnancy and hyperemesis didn't kill me).
We've really thought it was two little girls for a while now. Mostly because they had the exact same heart rate the whole time basically and for some reason that old wives tale really got me about the slower heart rates are boys and faster are girls. Take that old wives!
But starting about four weeks ago I, for some reason, was calling baby A "she" and baby B "he" without thinking about it. I think because baby B was a bit bigger...and I hope to God that our boy is bigger than our girl (at least after puberty) cuz that'd be rough on both of them... And turns out, baby A is in fact a little lady and baby B is our little man!
I couldn't see it on the ultrasound. The tech had to actually put arrows on the screen for me and explain the "hamburger vs hot dog" analogy for me to get it...but our boy is an active one and everytime she got a shot of his bubba bits it was all blurry and he was like "scuuuuse me!". But by the fifth try I could see the hot dog! Sorry little man, you will now forever be immortalized as having a hot dog on the interwebs.
B was so cute at the ultrasound. I know he'd be excited for two girls...but I think every man wants a little boy just a little bit... So when the tech saw the girl first B was cute and was all "oh cool" and smiley, but then when she saw the boy, he was in total disbelief! He gave me a high five and said "We did it!"!!! It was adorable. Then he said "now we can have a boys day out and a girls day out!" I love that man.
I was, of course, super nervous going into the ultrasound yet again. I don't think that's ever going to go away. I just kept saying "I need to see two heartbeats". The tech actually apologized to B for having to deal with me...look lady, I'm infertile and awful sh*t happens. She assured me it was thoroughly normal after giving B the side eye.
Anyway, little lady and big bubba look phenomenal! They were playing the part- little lady was sitting all curled up and kind of bobbing her head a bit here and there and stretching a little and waving but bubba was bouncing all over the place and doing flips and big kicks. They aren't measuring them anymore, just looking at the organs and such and measuring heartrate. 158 and 150 respectively. The next time they'll get a thorough measuring will be at the anatomy scan in four weeks. That's an hour long ultrasound!!! YES! But we get another ultrasound in between now and then cuz I'm spoiled.
Oh oh oh! Another piece of great news to help my weak little worrier heart- they did my first cervical check. Apparently I have an "over achiever cervix"! They want to see 3-4 (mm? cm? I'm not sure) but as long as it's more than 2.5 we're good. Well I'm at 5! Yay! Built for twins hopefully? Just keep hanging in there cervix! (Yes, I'm talking to my cervix now...this is my life. I also make a declaration of victory with every poo just for B. He likes that a lot, I'm sure. You gettin' that sex appeal? Comin' in loud and clear?)
I got a thorough lecture about what to look for for pre-term labor. So now B is on "maternal weight gain" duty as the little "pre-term labor risk factors" paper the doc gave us had that right up there along with stress and some other stuff we don't have to worry as much about. We're both worriers, ok? He told me as soon as we left the office that I need to get some more protein shakes in and make sure I'm uber calm and relaxed. Right O!
Ok, now for the hyperemesis update! I've gone a WEEK without throwing up one time! I've only dry heaved about 10 times or so in that week, too. Rockstar status. Definitely on the up and up. I'm actually going to try to do a half day on Monday next week at work! So my mission now is to somehow get up and move around more so I stop getting so damn light headed and dizzy between now and then. The nausea is still there (way worse in the evenings though) but it's pretty manageable. I'm staying on the highest dose of Zof.ran until...well...forever. I think I might be a dealer one day...
But it's been such an amazing blessing to not feel like I want to be placed into a medically induced coma every minute of the day. I'd love to be nausea free, but this is fine with me. I can handle this.
Oh oh oh oh oh! One more thing (this post is epic). I think I might have felt one of the luckies move last night! It felt sort of like a bit of a twitch. Kind of like a teensy little muscle spasm in my stomach but only one spot. It was pretty cool. Then I woke up this morning and took a drink of water which I thoroughly choked on (drinking at 5am is apparently a hazard to me), after which I think I felt three little movements in a row! It was lower though, so I don't know. I'm excited for when I will actually KNOW that it's one of our offspring saying hello.
I keep seeing these pregnancy posts with the formatted questions. I want to do that but then I start rambling and at this point I think I may have lost everyone so adding an additional section for formatted pregnancy questions is probably a bit much. Maybe next week.
Yeah for girl and boy! Yay for shopping! (Yes, we did go out immediately after the appointment and bought a tiny little under arm.our onesie for little lady and a little cut off under arm.our t-shirt for bubba, of course). We're gonna be broke.
But probably because WE GOT TO FIND OUT THE SEXES YESTERDAY!! So...drumroll...
We're having a GIRL AND A BOY!!!!
Oh I just couldn't be happier. B couldn't be happier. (Not just because I really, really can say that this is my last pregnancy and hyperemesis didn't kill me).
We've really thought it was two little girls for a while now. Mostly because they had the exact same heart rate the whole time basically and for some reason that old wives tale really got me about the slower heart rates are boys and faster are girls. Take that old wives!
But starting about four weeks ago I, for some reason, was calling baby A "she" and baby B "he" without thinking about it. I think because baby B was a bit bigger...and I hope to God that our boy is bigger than our girl (at least after puberty) cuz that'd be rough on both of them... And turns out, baby A is in fact a little lady and baby B is our little man!
I couldn't see it on the ultrasound. The tech had to actually put arrows on the screen for me and explain the "hamburger vs hot dog" analogy for me to get it...but our boy is an active one and everytime she got a shot of his bubba bits it was all blurry and he was like "scuuuuse me!". But by the fifth try I could see the hot dog! Sorry little man, you will now forever be immortalized as having a hot dog on the interwebs.
B was so cute at the ultrasound. I know he'd be excited for two girls...but I think every man wants a little boy just a little bit... So when the tech saw the girl first B was cute and was all "oh cool" and smiley, but then when she saw the boy, he was in total disbelief! He gave me a high five and said "We did it!"!!! It was adorable. Then he said "now we can have a boys day out and a girls day out!" I love that man.
I was, of course, super nervous going into the ultrasound yet again. I don't think that's ever going to go away. I just kept saying "I need to see two heartbeats". The tech actually apologized to B for having to deal with me...look lady, I'm infertile and awful sh*t happens. She assured me it was thoroughly normal after giving B the side eye.
Anyway, little lady and big bubba look phenomenal! They were playing the part- little lady was sitting all curled up and kind of bobbing her head a bit here and there and stretching a little and waving but bubba was bouncing all over the place and doing flips and big kicks. They aren't measuring them anymore, just looking at the organs and such and measuring heartrate. 158 and 150 respectively. The next time they'll get a thorough measuring will be at the anatomy scan in four weeks. That's an hour long ultrasound!!! YES! But we get another ultrasound in between now and then cuz I'm spoiled.
Oh oh oh! Another piece of great news to help my weak little worrier heart- they did my first cervical check. Apparently I have an "over achiever cervix"! They want to see 3-4 (mm? cm? I'm not sure) but as long as it's more than 2.5 we're good. Well I'm at 5! Yay! Built for twins hopefully? Just keep hanging in there cervix! (Yes, I'm talking to my cervix now...this is my life. I also make a declaration of victory with every poo just for B. He likes that a lot, I'm sure. You gettin' that sex appeal? Comin' in loud and clear?)
I got a thorough lecture about what to look for for pre-term labor. So now B is on "maternal weight gain" duty as the little "pre-term labor risk factors" paper the doc gave us had that right up there along with stress and some other stuff we don't have to worry as much about. We're both worriers, ok? He told me as soon as we left the office that I need to get some more protein shakes in and make sure I'm uber calm and relaxed. Right O!
Ok, now for the hyperemesis update! I've gone a WEEK without throwing up one time! I've only dry heaved about 10 times or so in that week, too. Rockstar status. Definitely on the up and up. I'm actually going to try to do a half day on Monday next week at work! So my mission now is to somehow get up and move around more so I stop getting so damn light headed and dizzy between now and then. The nausea is still there (way worse in the evenings though) but it's pretty manageable. I'm staying on the highest dose of Zof.ran until...well...forever. I think I might be a dealer one day...
But it's been such an amazing blessing to not feel like I want to be placed into a medically induced coma every minute of the day. I'd love to be nausea free, but this is fine with me. I can handle this.
Oh oh oh oh oh! One more thing (this post is epic). I think I might have felt one of the luckies move last night! It felt sort of like a bit of a twitch. Kind of like a teensy little muscle spasm in my stomach but only one spot. It was pretty cool. Then I woke up this morning and took a drink of water which I thoroughly choked on (drinking at 5am is apparently a hazard to me), after which I think I felt three little movements in a row! It was lower though, so I don't know. I'm excited for when I will actually KNOW that it's one of our offspring saying hello.
I keep seeing these pregnancy posts with the formatted questions. I want to do that but then I start rambling and at this point I think I may have lost everyone so adding an additional section for formatted pregnancy questions is probably a bit much. Maybe next week.
Yeah for girl and boy! Yay for shopping! (Yes, we did go out immediately after the appointment and bought a tiny little under arm.our onesie for little lady and a little cut off under arm.our t-shirt for bubba, of course). We're gonna be broke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)