Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hello Lupron...I had almost forgotten about you

You know how I said this is the happy Lupron that I'm on now rather than the sad, evil, monster Lupron that I took for endometriosis? That was wrong. And it was so evil Lupron like of it to trick me like that for four days.
Hello mood swings. I don't think I've ever been as sad as I was this morning when I got to work. Ok, maybe I have- but chemically induced sadness feels so much worse. And I denied it for so long...that made it way worse. Don't do that. I'm like "wow, I'm illogically sad right now. I can't figure out why I'm so sad. I mean, there's some stuff that could make me sad, but I'm a psychopath for being this sad. I probably should talk to someone about this. There's a reasonable chance that I need help..." And then I'm like "I want to crawl into a dark, dark space and fit my head into a tiny hole that sucks any small bit of happiness right out of my miserable body." And then "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I HATE MY JOB OR MY CAT OR MY HUSBAND OR ANYTHING THAT IS IN FRONT OF ME AT THIS MOMENT!" ... Enter husband. Angry smiles when he tries to make me laugh. Pouty face. Half smile. Pouty face again. Then husband's remarkably cautious and fearful attempt: "Um, maybe it's the Lupron that's making you feel...uh...this way. Or... maybe not... maybe it's me..." Pouty face. Pause. Ponder. Immediate spiral of guilt and shame.


I also itch all over.

2 comments:

  1. Evil lupron! I'm dreading starting it in a few days. It's amazing that our husbands stick by us! Hong on in there, hopefully it will be all worth it! X

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  2. Is it wrong that your post made me laugh? From "Evil Lupron" to "Immediate spiral of guilt and shame" - You were trying to be funny, right? Hopefully your mood will swing up and you can see the humor in all of this.

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